A Look At 2012

12 highlights of 2012!

1. New Years Resolution:
This isn't a highlight of 2012, but I feel the need to get this out in writing! One of my goals this year is to blog more regularly, but more importantly, blog about substantial subjects! I really want to be intentional about my topics. I don't want to write just to have something on my blog. It has to mean something to me! (I have one brewing at the moment so keep an eye out!)

2. Netflix fun:
Fringe!!! Breaking Bad!!! We had a lot of fun with Fringe and Breaking Bad this year. I particularly enjoyed Fringe, and partly because I'm not always a sci-fi girl, but the character development and relationships are outstanding, and the way they tie in each episode is so interesting! So worth watching!

3. Most fun with currently running TV:
"Once Upon A time". OMG I love it. Best show on TV right now! The reason I know it's so good is because I can't even remember the last show I cared about enough to watch it as it airs. The character development of this show is phenomenal and it's just plain FUN to follow some of my beloved fairy tale characters.

4. Skincare love:
My current skincare routine, and my favorite one of the year, is using Alba's organic Acnedote facial wash followed by a home made toner of apple cider vinegar, water and green tea. Oh my word. It has done wonders!

5. Favorite Quote:
"It's hard to let go anything we love. We live in a world which teaches us to clutch. But when we clutch we're left with a fistful of ashes." - Madeleine L'Engle

Ugh, I was absolutely obsessed with this quote earlier in the year. I even wrote it out and hung it on my mirror for a time. So, so poignant and such a strong symbol for me personally. Love her. So much.

6. Favorite album:
My favorite album as a whole this year has to be a tie between "The Lumineers" and "The Head and the Heart" These are fantastic, and I love each and every song! I really enjoy the authentic and raw sound of these bands, and they just make me feel good! Some of my favorite songs are "Ho Hey", "Stubborn Love" (Lumineers) and "Ghosts" and "Winter Song" (Head and the Heart). So amazing.

7. Favorite Music Discoveries:
This year has been wonderful for my music loving soul! Some of these are not new to the music scene, but were new to me this year and I am in love!! Sia, Shovels and Rope, Of Monsters of Men, Noah Gunderson, Young the Giant, Dawes, The Civil Wars, Gregory Alan Isakov, Holly Pulliam, and Lost in the Trees. Seriously. Listen to all of them. I'm not kidding. Go. Now.

8. Biggest Surprise:
Honestly, the biggest surprise is that I'm not freezing in New Jersey anymore! I guess I just got use to it, and I actually like it! It's very weird for me to say this, but I'm looking forward to our first real snow storm! I know, I know, I say that NOW before it has happened, but I'm hoping I still love it as much as I love the idea of it.

9. Most enjoyable travel:
Our road tip/move out to Princeton was quite an adventure! Though sad to leave our family, this phase of our lives has turned out to be just what we needed, and the trip out marked the beginning of that new plunge into the unknown. Although it was a tiresome and trying 4 day road trip with our cats in the car, it was something I will always cherish - being able to see this diverse country we live in with the one I love most.

10. Favorite Community Moment:
The hurricane brought our neighbors together in such a powerful and meaningful way. We were forced to be around one another, talk to one another, meet people we wouldn't otherwise meet, feed each other, pray with one another. That week without power, at least for Wes and I, is a cherished moment where we cared for one another and made deep valuable connections with the people around us. 

11. Best use of our home: 
 It's only been 5 or so months since we've moved in, but some highlights for me were: card games with Emily and Jesse the night of the hurricane. Obviously the devastation it left was awful and heartbreaking, but from where we were, it was mild and a fun night filled with laughter. The others I'd say are dinners and game nights too, with new friends Ben and Becca, and Kendra and Travis. Oh! And enchiladas with Brandy, Fransisco and Dolores! I need to invite more people over for dinner, cause apparently I enjoy it! I answered this question in last years high light post, and I just love it. So good to remind ourselves to open our doors to be generous and loving people.

12. Favorite snapshots:

My absolute all time favorite picture of Wes with our niece Emma.

SUCH a great memory: Painting with my grandpa - his original design.

This is where I live!!!! I can't get over how gorgeous it is.

November Favorites

Hi friends! I'm really trying to blog regularly again, and as motivation, I will be doing a monthly favorites post! (Inspired by my friend Alyssa over at "All Things Beautiful"!) So let's just jump right into it! (Also, I'm aware that it is already well into the first week of December, but bear with me!!!!)

Favorite All-Natural Discovery

APPLE CIDER VINEGAR. Hands down. It's the best discovery I've made in a long time!!! I had no idea how magical this stuff was! I have primarily been using it as a hot drink every night to rid my body of toxins (You can also make a toner too!). It is FABULOUS for your face/skin and has almost completely rid my face of all blemishes within 3 weeks. Maybe it will work for you too?

Here's the recipe I follow: 1 cup of hot purified water, 2 tablespoons of organic local honey, 2 cap fulls of Braggs organic apple cider vinegar. It smells awful in the bottle, but once you mix it all together, I honestly think it tastes like hot apple cider, but that could just be me :) I will probably do a step by step post with pictures later!

Favorite Makeup

I've been really into makeup recently. It's gotten pretty bad. (Right, Emily?) It's just been so frustrating for me to find the right foundation particularly for my acne prone DRY skin. (Not a common combination!) I've tried Covergirl nature luxe, Maybelline dream smooth mousse and L'Oreal true match (Loved the color, but it was too drying). THEN I FOUND IT! L'Oreal true match LUMI was the one for me. With medium to build-able coverage this lightweight foundation does not look cakey on me at all and actually hydrates my skin. I LOVE IT. I use the shade W1-2.

And another makeup product I have to talk about are the Revlon lip butters! (If you follow me on instagram you already know how obsessed I am with these! They are so creamy and have great color selections with good color pay off (mostly in the darker shades). I have a total of 8 now (but only ended up paying full price for 3 of them with sales and coupons!!!!)

From left to right: Peach Parfait, Cupcake, Strawberry Shortcake, Berry Smoothie, Tutti Fruitti, Candy Apple, Creme Brulee, and Fig Jam. (Maybe swatches to follow??)

Favorite Television Show

Once Upon a Time ALL THE WAY. It's just "charming" and so cute. It's especially fun if you were into Disney movies/Grimm's stories as a child (or now!). They do such a fantastic job with character development, and weaving all these classic stories together. So great. Go watch it, please! I will warn you though that sometimes it has it's cheesy moments, but they are oh so worth it. My husband even loves it and watches every single episode with me!!! Plus, it has Ginnifer Goodwin in it. And she's freaking adorable all the time.

Favorite Quote

"God understands that part of us which is more than what we think we are." Madeleine L'Engle 

I've SO been dealing lately with the concept of who I truly am and this just spoke to me. Ugh. I don't even have words for it right now, but I just have been sitting with this quote, letting it resonate. Love her.

Favorite Instagram Picture

This is from Wes' birthday on November 12th! So glad he was born :) His mom was able to visit us during that week as well, which was a welcome blessing as we are still adjusting to life on the East Coast!!

Prayer in the Midst of Anxiety

Loving and peace-giving God,
I so desperately desire that "peace that passes all understanding". My heart has been so full of anxiety and pain, and I know You aren't a genie, but I know You ARE life giving. I just want it to go away. I want to feel confident that this will pass...that I am always going to make it through. I know in my heart that I can stay strong, but my mind has a harder time believing it.


May I have peace, God. May I feel peace. May I show peace. Please throughout this day, whisper "I am here. I am with you. It will all be okay." And please come carry me if it feels too hard. Remind me that I am growing. I am growing EVERY DAY. And I want to grow to be more like You. Help me see what looks like you. Help me give You those sorrows I hold onto so tightly, so that I can focus on showing this world Your love.

A Look At 2011

Here are some highlights of 2011, idea taken from SortaCrunchy:

Favorite reads: This year I enjoyed reading all of John Greens books (I'm in love!) including "Looking for Alaska", "Paper Towns", "An Abundance of Katherine's" and "Will Grayson, Will Grayson"

Favorite album: This year has been all about Mumford and Sons and Ingrid Michaelson! Love their albums as a whole!

Favorite music discoveries: Beach House and Fleet Foxes :)

Netflix fun: LOST and Dexter. I CANNOT GET ENOUGH! We finished LOST this year and we loved it! Amazing! And Dexter (We're up to season 5 now) AHH I can't get over the writing and characters of that show! (But be fair warned it is a bit (ok A LOT) graphic in all areas).

Most fun with currently running TV: I enjoy Jersey Shore and I do not even care that you are judging me right now. Snookie is just hilarious!!!! I also love "big bang theory" and "how I met your mother"

Biggest TV disappointment: Man of Interest. I really wanted it to be good. I really did. I mean IT'S BENJAMIN LINUS!! :(

Technology love: The iphone 4s my husband got me for Christmas takes the cake!

Best use of our home: Looking at this question makes me realize we haven't used our home very well! (Even tough it is only 400 sq ft so not that many can fit) but I'd say dinner and a bonfire with our dear friends Wes and Marla was a highlight :)

Most enjoyable travel: We went to Hawaii this past year and it was incredible!!! We got to spend a week with my in laws and my adorable nephews! It was great bonding time. I also parasailed for the first time!

Most rewarding project: My quest to buy only fair trade for Christmas. It really opened my eyes to not only how easy it is to start changing my shopping habits, but also how shopping fair trade with the prices being a tiny bit higher, made me really think about the person and if they would appreciate it, and made the gift giving much more precious.

BIGGEST SURPRISE: How much I love my niece Emma. I remember visiting her in the hospital when she was born and it was a "ok she's cute" moment but no real emotional bond...but now that I get to spend every weekday with her, I am smitten! She's so sweet and smart and funny! Which brings me to the next surprise, which is how much I love my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. They have proved to be the most generous and loving people I know, and getting to spend time with them is something I will cherish forever. They are truly family. And no, I'm not just sucking up cause they pay my bills. I really mean it. :)

Favorite snapshots taken by me:

My Husband on our whale watching date. I love him.

We're really cool

My sweet niece Emma. This picture kills me!

The youngest of 4 nephews, Kai. He is so caring and funny!

My cat Moshe scrounging for food!

The Facts About Fair trade

As we come to the second week of advent and prepare for Christmas I want to talk about the facts of fair trade. This year I have made a commitment to buy only fair trade items for friends and family and sometimes it can be hard to know where to start and how to identify what products are fair trade. If you are new to fair trade there are probably even more questions floating through your head, so here are a few general facts about fair trade. If anyone has other information to add or correct please leave a comment! I want to make sure I am accurate and up to date. So here we go...

So what is fair trade?

I took this straight off of the world fair trade organizations website, because I think they sum it up so nicely.

"Fair Trade is a trading partnership, based on dialogue, transparency and respect, that seeks greater equity in international trade. It contributes to sustainable development by offering better trading conditions to, and securing the rights of, marginalized producers and workers"

A company then, that is committed to fair trade practices, will either buy ingredients from workers in other countries (or the U.S.) and make their own products (ensuring adequate pay and working conditions) , or they will sell handmade products from organizations already established. (ie: buy coconut oil in bulk to make their own shampoo and conditioner, or take handmade jewelry and sell it to consumers on behalf of the developing community, ensuring that the money goes directly back to that community.)

Why is it important to buy fair trade?

For me, it all comes down to this: we are seeing worse working conditions, outrageously low pay, unsafe environments, child labor, and slavery. And this is all because foreign companies and large U.S. corrperations need the cheapest labor, so they can sell it to the consumer at the cheapest price. (Walmarts "low price guarantee", anyone?)

Fair trade towns USA says this about fair trades importance:

"When you choose to purchase Fair Trade products, you are endorsing an economic system that provides opportunities for producers to lift themselves out of poverty. Fair Trade provides assurances to consumers that producers are paid fair prices for their products and labor. It gives them more direct market access which removes many of the “middle-men” who traditionally have absorbed the majority of the profits. In addition, Fair Trade provides a set of requirements that assure consumers that strict standards have been met to protect the environment, build economic sustainability, empower women, and allow opportunities for education, poverty alleviation, and health care."

So why is it so important? Because when you realize how drastically your purchases impact the lives of others, you can't help but want that impact to be a positive one. And all you have to do is shop! And we can start by shopping for things we all need, like bath and beauty products, recycled paper towels, etc. :)

Terms you should know:

Fair trade: A system of exchange that honors producers, communities, consumers, and the environment. It is a model for the global economy rooted in people-to-people connections, justice, and sustainability.

Cruelty-free: This sounds like a fair trade term, but it's not. Cruelty free is a term used when a product has not been tested on an animal.

Co-op: A co-op is when Fair trade organizations work primarily with small businesses and democratically run cooperatives that agree to reinvest a portion of profits in community projects like health care clinics and childcare programs. These cooperatives are trying to cut out any middle men, and buy only and directly through the producers to ensure fair wadges and to see community and social change. Sometimes you will see pictures and stories of the particular producer on a fair trade website.

Sustainable: This ties into the cooperatives and means that the company selling the fair trade items create opportunities for social and sustainable economic development to the producer.

USDA Organic: A product claiming to be organic using the USDA organic label means that the product is 90-95 percent organic. And although many fair trade products are organic, a product carrying this label may not be fair trade. This doesn't mean not to shop organic though! I'm a big fan of organic.

How can you tell if it's really fair trade?

This one can be tricky, as many companies are noting the recent trend in conscious shopping and can slap the fair trade name on a product, but one of the best ways to identify a fair trade item is by its label. There are two very important symbols to watch out for, So you know it is certified fair trade. Remember, just because it says it is fair trade, doesn't mean it is. Do some research first.

I am still learning about fair trade everyday and am so honored to be a part of this movement to care so deeply for the hands that make the products I use. For more information on fair trade certification and fair trade in general, visit the fair trade USA website here.

The Fight To Be Fair

Just about a year ago I wrote a blog post reflecting on how my obsession with my image had caused me to neglect my heart for fair trade. I became more interested in a shampoo that was "curl inhancing" to go along with my new haircut than with how my products were made and who they were made by. I quickly re-evaluated myself and felt like I was back on track....

Well....things have gotten bad again. This time though, it isn't about the looks...it's about the money - coupons to be exact. You see, I've become a bit crazy about saving myself some money. I'm not a crazy coupon lady by any means but I have become more interested in cutting out coupons...and to be honest, buying things I don't really need just because they are on sale.

I knew it was really bad when a few weeks ago I was buying 4 different 2-in-1 shampoos because I had $1 off coupons. Which is just exsessive, but that's not the worst part of it. The really bad part is when my husband walked down the isle to see me carrying all these shampoos and very casually and politely said "what happened to trying to buy fair trade bath products?". I instantly got defensive and chewed him out right there in the grocery store. "I'm trying to save this family some money!!!" (funny...I almost wrote save this money some family!) and "Why don't I see YOU buying anything fair trade? Why is it always on me? " which isn't even true at all...my husband tries to be conscious as well.

This incident really hit me. Money makes me cranky. When I shop fair trade, it may cost me a bit more...but I'm happier. And so are many other people whose lives are changed because I spent a few extra dollars. Now, advent started today, and I think advent and fair trade go quite nicely together. Advent is the period of preparation leading up to Christmas. And what better time than Christmas to talk about money and consumerism. So this advent season, all my posts will be about the coming Christ and the continual fight for fair trade. May we, this advent season, find hope in Christ, and may we find ways to share that hope with others.

Being A Youth Pastor's Wife (On Burn Out)

Being a youth pastor's wife is the most rewarding job I have. But it is also the most heart-breaking, most frustrating, most draining thing I do. It is not easy to do this "job". And for me, it is a full time unpaid job. I work 3 jobs right now to make up the income from quitting my last job, and at the end of the day I go on to chaperon youth events and lead worship for Jr. high and Sr. high youth group.

My real problem is that I desperately want to be involved with my husbands ministry. If I could quit all my jobs and just work with him, I would do it in a heart beat. I LOVE student ministries. I have worked with youth as a volunteer for 6 years (2 years on my own out of high school and 4 years have been spent volunteering along side my now husband). I'm not like one of those people who never thought they'd be a pastor's spouse. No, I knew I would be. I KNEW that the ministry of the church (particularly youth) was so important to me that God had to bring me someone who loved youth too. And God did.

But I am suffering from some burnout these days.

And to be honest with you...I'm the only youth pastor's spouse I know that hasn't identified their boundaries (If you're out there too, let me know!). One of my best friends and college roommate is also a youth pastor's wife, but she barely goes to any events. My husband and I realized we've never ever SEEN the wife of a youth pastor here in town that we frequently do events with. I feel so alone in my battle. I desperately want to be a part of this ministry, but I am wearing myself too thin.

A lot of the times I do so much because I see so many hurting kids. I think "Oh, I should really take her out for coffee...she looks like she needs to talk to someone. That's what I'm suppose to do right? I AM the youth pastors wife after all..." For whatever reason, this is the ideal of what a youth pastors spouse should be, and though taking a teenager out for coffee is something I can and have done, it's not my instinctual way of showing these kids that I care about them and love them. To be honest, I'm just more likely to give them a hug and tell them it's going to be okay.  Let me reiterate: I LOVE THESE KIDS. But if I think I'm SUPPOSE to take all the students out for coffee, it probably won't happen. Because it isn't my gift, I will probably fail at remembering to take them out. Then I feel like a failure...like I'm not able to help these teenagers I care so much for. I'm trying to make my ideals of my role as a youth pastor's wife fit into something I am not. The real problem isn't that I can't touch the lives of these hurting kids. Oh, I can. It's that I'm not letting myself be exactly who I am. They don't need or want the me I think I should be...they want the me that God made me to be.

I tried to think back on the youth pastor's wife when I was in high school. Her name is Jayme and I LOVED HER. I remember special times when she would help me learn chords on the keyboard while I was on the worship team. And I STILL HAVE postcards she wrote me about how special she thought I was. Little moments, even though she wasn't there for every event, meant the world to me. And by sometimes distancing herself from the ministry of her husband, and having boundaries, she was able to be exactly who she was exactly when I needed it.

Last week I attended a youth worker training day (that my wonderful husband helped create and run) called "Equip" and they had a phenomenal speaker named Katie Quesada there. In her message to us she said something so powerful. So wonderfully refreshing. She said:

"You are unique. The truest you, the you God created, what you are, is exactly what people need. No more, no less. What you have to offer, the way it feels most natural, is what people need."

We are unique. Do not try to be something you aren't just because you think that's what your role is. I need to be a wife, a nanny, a youth worker, a preschool teacher, a sister, a daughter, a Sunday school director. And I need to know where I am in all of those roles. I need to see me. I need to see that my work does not define me. That I am perfect just how I am in the small ways I do all those things.

I cannot be the best version of myself for these kids when I have no boundaries. I am worn thin. I am frustrated with them. I am frustrated with myself. I am frustrated with God. I do too much. When I say yes to too many things, I can do none of them well. If I want to be effective, I have to choose my boundaries. You have to say no to most things (even good worthwhile things) in order to do those few things as best as you can. You have to say "no" to say "yes".

When do I say no? What do I say yes to? I think we should say yes to the things that bring us joy. Say yes to the things that feel most naturally "you".

I absolutely love the way the message translation talks about "spiritual gifts" or as I like to call them "glimpses of God". You can read a whole excerpt here, but I wanted to point out a few parts with my own twist from my own life. Instead of listing the spiritual gifts as they traditionally appear, I can't help but see it this way:

You have God's smile

You have God's eyes

You have God's heart

You have God's creativity

You have God's words

You have God's touch

We are all unique. We are all exactly who God has made us to be. Sometimes we get a little dusty, but our heart...God's heart...is right there.

I love this part in verse 13 "Each of us is now a part of his resurrection body, refreshed and sustained at one fountain—his Spirit—where we all come to drink. The old labels we once used to identify ourselves—labels like Jew or Greek, slave or free—are no longer useful. (***Like "pastor's wife"***) We need something larger, more comprehensive. I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less."

We are not labels. We are precious children of God who are given special parts of God to give to each other. The first thing we need to do is remember who we are. If you need to go away and spend an extended amount of time discovering this, DO IT. When you know who you are and who God made you to be, you will naturally show God's love.