Be Generous

Last year I followed Megan over at SortaCrunchy pick "one word" to guide her year instead of a traditional new years resolution. She is doing it again this year with the word "serve", and so is my friend Alyssa over at All Things Beautiful picking the word "seek".


If you haven't heard of picking a word for 2013  but want to, you still have time! It's actually something that quite a few people are doing. And by now you might have given up on those resolutions you made a month ago anyway, so join with me! It's a wonderful way to focus on one positive thing you want to be this year. Their website (oneword365.com) says it best:

"Forget New Year’s Resolutions. Scrap that long list of goals you won’t remember three weeks from now anyway. Choose just one word. One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live. One word that you can focus on every day, all year long.
It will take intentionality and commitment, but if you let it, your word will shape you and your year. It will guide your decisions and help you grow. Discover the big impact one word can make.
One word. 365 days. A changed life."


Now look, I know it's February, but I spent most of December and January thinking about what word I wanted to use and nothing felt right! Then all of the sudden it came like a gentle whisper:  "Be generous".

I desperately want to be more generous, but it's going to have to be a conscious decision each day. I know this is a problem area for me, as I hold so tightly to money. Money sucks, okay?! It comes with anxiety and depression. People often judge you on how you spend your money.  I KNOW it's hard for me, and I tend to beat myself up saying "Stop being so controlling." and "Stop being so consumed with money." But I think I need to stop telling myself what NOT to do, and start saying the positive:  "Be generous". It's so much more freeing to see the beauty of what can be, rather than the ugly of what has been done.

I just don't want money to rule me anymore. I want to see a need and feel freedom in faith that if I meet the need of someone else, I will still be taken care of too. I guess that's what it comes down to. I'm afraid I won't be taken care of. I've put my own well being over someone else, without faith that God won't let me fall.

What would my life look like if I just stopped being so afraid?

I'm not saying be frivolous with money. No, we still need to be responsible adults! But what would it look like if we started actually budgeting and allowed a "generous" fund? Putting aside a fraction a month and seeing where it takes us.

Now, when I say I want to be generous, I'm not just talking monetarily, but that's a big one for me. I want to be generous by being intentional. Being generous with my time when I notice my neighbor is having a bad day and just needs to talk. Generous with my food, by making a meal for a friend whose having a hard week. I just want to have a giving heart. An open heart. A seeking heart.

I use to pray a prayer almost every day in high school that went like this:

"Open my eyes, my ears and my heart to the needs of those around me, and may I meet those needs as best as I can. "

What if I started praying this again each day when I woke up? Would it change the way I saw the events of my day? Probably! I can't see how it would make it worse. When we center ourselves each day and point ourselves in a certain direction, it will subconsciously guide us. Our hearts will be more aware of the opportunities to carry out what we want to do and be.

Trust me, this is not easy! I've literally had to say to myself "Be more generous" in situations where I would normally clutch tightly to my wallet or my watch. But I want to try. I want to try to be generous this year. Will you join me in this journey?

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Going Forward

1) Pray the "needs" prayer when I wake up in the morning. "Open my eyes, my ears and my heart to the needs of those around me, and may I meet those needs as best as I can. "

2) Write the word "generous" all over my house! As many reminders as possible (Mirror, fridge, door).

3) Start budgeting in envelopes, Dave Ramsey style, and have an envelope titled "be generous."

4) Listen to the prayer requests at church each Sunday and pick one that I feel drawn to and imagine how it would look to be generous in that situation.

Getting Involved With Church Ministry

We just starting attending a church here in New Jersey a couple of months ago. We had tried several churches since we moved here in August, but they just didn't feel right. We would leave each church saying "Eh...that was good, but something is missing." They weren't bad churches, in fact many were wonderful, thriving churches! But we just kept feeling like there was somewhere else we needed to try. That is until we set foot in Kingston United Methodist Church. The style of liturgy reminded us of home, and there was such a welcoming atmosphere. After the service we both looked at each other in the car and said "Alight. That was really great!" We decided that day to visit KUMC every other week and try a new church in between, but that didn't happen because the second time we visited I knew I didn't want to miss another Sunday.

(As a side note let me just say this: I sound a bit giddy about this church, and I do have wonderful things to say about it, but look, no church is perfect and neither is this one. But the difference is that this is a church we want to struggle alongside with.)

We attended regularly for a couple of months and then quickly started getting involved. We both joined the Christmas Choir, read scripture and I was recruited to help with an alternative gift project for the holiday season. As soon as we began to volunteer, we started feeling more and more "at home". We started making connections with people - the same people we had been quietly sitting alongside during that one hour on Sunday morning. I started to know their names and their hearts. Getting involved helps foster community with people you wouldn't normally be around.

I want to write about this because it is deeply important for me to see people get involved with a church they like, ASAP. I'm pretty passionate about it. Once you've reached that point where you've gone several times and you KNOW that this is where you want to be - DO SOMETHING. I say this because I've personally been involved in ministry at every church I've been at. I see the difference it makes in my life and in the lives of those around me when we reach outside that comfort zone for just a moment, to find our place in the church, bringing God's kingdom close like a kiss.

Of course you can also do wonderful work outside a church community, but there is something so special about sharing life and passions with those you are sharing a space with every week. Becoming involved with the ministries of the church can keep us from being church "consumers". It can help us see that yes, going on Sunday can be nourishing to the soul...but what if it isn't all that nourishing one week. What if it's really boring!? What if the music sucks?! When you have allowed yourself to become a part of something bigger than yourself, you will begin to see the church less as something to obtain or to consume, but more as a place where you are challenged and encouraged to reach outward. It feels good to be a part of something bigger than yourself.

There are SO MANY ways to be a part of a church. Generally the "bigger" ministries are listed on a bulletin each week, or on the church website (usually these include children's, youth, young adult, adult and choir ministries). But these are not the only ways to get involved! Whatever your passion is, THERE IS A PLACE FOR YOU. Getting involved with a ministry can help you find and strengthen those passions. As I started to volunteer at KUMC, the pastor came up to me and thanked me, saying that the skills and talents I had were not his. I was able to bless the church in a unique way. Being a part of the church has made me feel good to be me - the me that I was created to be. It has made me feel confident and caring, loving and kind. You need to know this: you are valuable to the church. Whatever your passion is, however you are being intrinsically you, is needed. It's a place you can be exactly who you are and a place you SHOULD be exactly who you are.

That is the bottom line - this is why you should get involved: we need you. Not for free volunteer labor, but we need YOU. Everything you are. Your passions are unique, your talents, everything you are, good and bad, are exactly what is missing in our ministries. You are precious. You are valuable. You are beautiful. You are loved. Our lives are missing something valuable when you are not sharing life and love with us.

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Going Forward:

- Talk to your pastor to see what ministries are available at your church. Take time to pray over them and see where you feel most lead.

- If you aren't sure of your passions, try taking a strengths test. If you enjoy personality tests as much as I do, this is just a fun way to see what your gifts might be! (Note that none of these will outright tell you that you should volunteer in youth ministry, or with the choir, or behind the scenes doing office work. It's just a guide to see your strengths from a different perspective)

• This link here is for a general strengths aptitude test. For example, my results were "Optimism", "Faith" and "Focus".
• This link here is for a spiritual gifts test. (It says "take our test for free" in the grey box in the left corner) For example, my results were "Mercy", "Faith" and "Discernment".
• This link here is geared more towards teenagers and is very short and a bit more narrowed in the questions. My results were "Encouragement", "Giving" and "Hospitality".

-  Dream big! All passions can be used in the church, even if they seem small. Take a look at your passions for art, crafts, sewing, finance, cooking, board games, reading, writing, music, or dance - and dream about how they can by used to bring God's Kingdom to earth.

A Look At 2012

12 highlights of 2012!

1. New Years Resolution:
This isn't a highlight of 2012, but I feel the need to get this out in writing! One of my goals this year is to blog more regularly, but more importantly, blog about substantial subjects! I really want to be intentional about my topics. I don't want to write just to have something on my blog. It has to mean something to me! (I have one brewing at the moment so keep an eye out!)

2. Netflix fun:
Fringe!!! Breaking Bad!!! We had a lot of fun with Fringe and Breaking Bad this year. I particularly enjoyed Fringe, and partly because I'm not always a sci-fi girl, but the character development and relationships are outstanding, and the way they tie in each episode is so interesting! So worth watching!

3. Most fun with currently running TV:
"Once Upon A time". OMG I love it. Best show on TV right now! The reason I know it's so good is because I can't even remember the last show I cared about enough to watch it as it airs. The character development of this show is phenomenal and it's just plain FUN to follow some of my beloved fairy tale characters.

4. Skincare love:
My current skincare routine, and my favorite one of the year, is using Alba's organic Acnedote facial wash followed by a home made toner of apple cider vinegar, water and green tea. Oh my word. It has done wonders!

5. Favorite Quote:
"It's hard to let go anything we love. We live in a world which teaches us to clutch. But when we clutch we're left with a fistful of ashes." - Madeleine L'Engle

Ugh, I was absolutely obsessed with this quote earlier in the year. I even wrote it out and hung it on my mirror for a time. So, so poignant and such a strong symbol for me personally. Love her. So much.

6. Favorite album:
My favorite album as a whole this year has to be a tie between "The Lumineers" and "The Head and the Heart" These are fantastic, and I love each and every song! I really enjoy the authentic and raw sound of these bands, and they just make me feel good! Some of my favorite songs are "Ho Hey", "Stubborn Love" (Lumineers) and "Ghosts" and "Winter Song" (Head and the Heart). So amazing.

7. Favorite Music Discoveries:
This year has been wonderful for my music loving soul! Some of these are not new to the music scene, but were new to me this year and I am in love!! Sia, Shovels and Rope, Of Monsters of Men, Noah Gunderson, Young the Giant, Dawes, The Civil Wars, Gregory Alan Isakov, Holly Pulliam, and Lost in the Trees. Seriously. Listen to all of them. I'm not kidding. Go. Now.

8. Biggest Surprise:
Honestly, the biggest surprise is that I'm not freezing in New Jersey anymore! I guess I just got use to it, and I actually like it! It's very weird for me to say this, but I'm looking forward to our first real snow storm! I know, I know, I say that NOW before it has happened, but I'm hoping I still love it as much as I love the idea of it.

9. Most enjoyable travel:
Our road tip/move out to Princeton was quite an adventure! Though sad to leave our family, this phase of our lives has turned out to be just what we needed, and the trip out marked the beginning of that new plunge into the unknown. Although it was a tiresome and trying 4 day road trip with our cats in the car, it was something I will always cherish - being able to see this diverse country we live in with the one I love most.

10. Favorite Community Moment:
The hurricane brought our neighbors together in such a powerful and meaningful way. We were forced to be around one another, talk to one another, meet people we wouldn't otherwise meet, feed each other, pray with one another. That week without power, at least for Wes and I, is a cherished moment where we cared for one another and made deep valuable connections with the people around us. 

11. Best use of our home: 
 It's only been 5 or so months since we've moved in, but some highlights for me were: card games with Emily and Jesse the night of the hurricane. Obviously the devastation it left was awful and heartbreaking, but from where we were, it was mild and a fun night filled with laughter. The others I'd say are dinners and game nights too, with new friends Ben and Becca, and Kendra and Travis. Oh! And enchiladas with Brandy, Fransisco and Dolores! I need to invite more people over for dinner, cause apparently I enjoy it! I answered this question in last years high light post, and I just love it. So good to remind ourselves to open our doors to be generous and loving people.

12. Favorite snapshots:

My absolute all time favorite picture of Wes with our niece Emma.

SUCH a great memory: Painting with my grandpa - his original design.

This is where I live!!!! I can't get over how gorgeous it is.

November Favorites

Hi friends! I'm really trying to blog regularly again, and as motivation, I will be doing a monthly favorites post! (Inspired by my friend Alyssa over at "All Things Beautiful"!) So let's just jump right into it! (Also, I'm aware that it is already well into the first week of December, but bear with me!!!!)

Favorite All-Natural Discovery

APPLE CIDER VINEGAR. Hands down. It's the best discovery I've made in a long time!!! I had no idea how magical this stuff was! I have primarily been using it as a hot drink every night to rid my body of toxins (You can also make a toner too!). It is FABULOUS for your face/skin and has almost completely rid my face of all blemishes within 3 weeks. Maybe it will work for you too?

Here's the recipe I follow: 1 cup of hot purified water, 2 tablespoons of organic local honey, 2 cap fulls of Braggs organic apple cider vinegar. It smells awful in the bottle, but once you mix it all together, I honestly think it tastes like hot apple cider, but that could just be me :) I will probably do a step by step post with pictures later!

Favorite Makeup

I've been really into makeup recently. It's gotten pretty bad. (Right, Emily?) It's just been so frustrating for me to find the right foundation particularly for my acne prone DRY skin. (Not a common combination!) I've tried Covergirl nature luxe, Maybelline dream smooth mousse and L'Oreal true match (Loved the color, but it was too drying). THEN I FOUND IT! L'Oreal true match LUMI was the one for me. With medium to build-able coverage this lightweight foundation does not look cakey on me at all and actually hydrates my skin. I LOVE IT. I use the shade W1-2.

And another makeup product I have to talk about are the Revlon lip butters! (If you follow me on instagram you already know how obsessed I am with these! They are so creamy and have great color selections with good color pay off (mostly in the darker shades). I have a total of 8 now (but only ended up paying full price for 3 of them with sales and coupons!!!!)

From left to right: Peach Parfait, Cupcake, Strawberry Shortcake, Berry Smoothie, Tutti Fruitti, Candy Apple, Creme Brulee, and Fig Jam. (Maybe swatches to follow??)

Favorite Television Show

Once Upon a Time ALL THE WAY. It's just "charming" and so cute. It's especially fun if you were into Disney movies/Grimm's stories as a child (or now!). They do such a fantastic job with character development, and weaving all these classic stories together. So great. Go watch it, please! I will warn you though that sometimes it has it's cheesy moments, but they are oh so worth it. My husband even loves it and watches every single episode with me!!! Plus, it has Ginnifer Goodwin in it. And she's freaking adorable all the time.

Favorite Quote

"God understands that part of us which is more than what we think we are." Madeleine L'Engle 

I've SO been dealing lately with the concept of who I truly am and this just spoke to me. Ugh. I don't even have words for it right now, but I just have been sitting with this quote, letting it resonate. Love her.

Favorite Instagram Picture

This is from Wes' birthday on November 12th! So glad he was born :) His mom was able to visit us during that week as well, which was a welcome blessing as we are still adjusting to life on the East Coast!!

Prayer in the Midst of Anxiety

Loving and peace-giving God,
I so desperately desire that "peace that passes all understanding". My heart has been so full of anxiety and pain, and I know You aren't a genie, but I know You ARE life giving. I just want it to go away. I want to feel confident that this will pass...that I am always going to make it through. I know in my heart that I can stay strong, but my mind has a harder time believing it.


May I have peace, God. May I feel peace. May I show peace. Please throughout this day, whisper "I am here. I am with you. It will all be okay." And please come carry me if it feels too hard. Remind me that I am growing. I am growing EVERY DAY. And I want to grow to be more like You. Help me see what looks like you. Help me give You those sorrows I hold onto so tightly, so that I can focus on showing this world Your love.

A Look At 2011

Here are some highlights of 2011, idea taken from SortaCrunchy:

Favorite reads: This year I enjoyed reading all of John Greens books (I'm in love!) including "Looking for Alaska", "Paper Towns", "An Abundance of Katherine's" and "Will Grayson, Will Grayson"

Favorite album: This year has been all about Mumford and Sons and Ingrid Michaelson! Love their albums as a whole!

Favorite music discoveries: Beach House and Fleet Foxes :)

Netflix fun: LOST and Dexter. I CANNOT GET ENOUGH! We finished LOST this year and we loved it! Amazing! And Dexter (We're up to season 5 now) AHH I can't get over the writing and characters of that show! (But be fair warned it is a bit (ok A LOT) graphic in all areas).

Most fun with currently running TV: I enjoy Jersey Shore and I do not even care that you are judging me right now. Snookie is just hilarious!!!! I also love "big bang theory" and "how I met your mother"

Biggest TV disappointment: Man of Interest. I really wanted it to be good. I really did. I mean IT'S BENJAMIN LINUS!! :(

Technology love: The iphone 4s my husband got me for Christmas takes the cake!

Best use of our home: Looking at this question makes me realize we haven't used our home very well! (Even tough it is only 400 sq ft so not that many can fit) but I'd say dinner and a bonfire with our dear friends Wes and Marla was a highlight :)

Most enjoyable travel: We went to Hawaii this past year and it was incredible!!! We got to spend a week with my in laws and my adorable nephews! It was great bonding time. I also parasailed for the first time!

Most rewarding project: My quest to buy only fair trade for Christmas. It really opened my eyes to not only how easy it is to start changing my shopping habits, but also how shopping fair trade with the prices being a tiny bit higher, made me really think about the person and if they would appreciate it, and made the gift giving much more precious.

BIGGEST SURPRISE: How much I love my niece Emma. I remember visiting her in the hospital when she was born and it was a "ok she's cute" moment but no real emotional bond...but now that I get to spend every weekday with her, I am smitten! She's so sweet and smart and funny! Which brings me to the next surprise, which is how much I love my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. They have proved to be the most generous and loving people I know, and getting to spend time with them is something I will cherish forever. They are truly family. And no, I'm not just sucking up cause they pay my bills. I really mean it. :)

Favorite snapshots taken by me:

My Husband on our whale watching date. I love him.

We're really cool

My sweet niece Emma. This picture kills me!

The youngest of 4 nephews, Kai. He is so caring and funny!

My cat Moshe scrounging for food!

The Facts About Fair trade

As we come to the second week of advent and prepare for Christmas I want to talk about the facts of fair trade. This year I have made a commitment to buy only fair trade items for friends and family and sometimes it can be hard to know where to start and how to identify what products are fair trade. If you are new to fair trade there are probably even more questions floating through your head, so here are a few general facts about fair trade. If anyone has other information to add or correct please leave a comment! I want to make sure I am accurate and up to date. So here we go...

So what is fair trade?

I took this straight off of the world fair trade organizations website, because I think they sum it up so nicely.

"Fair Trade is a trading partnership, based on dialogue, transparency and respect, that seeks greater equity in international trade. It contributes to sustainable development by offering better trading conditions to, and securing the rights of, marginalized producers and workers"

A company then, that is committed to fair trade practices, will either buy ingredients from workers in other countries (or the U.S.) and make their own products (ensuring adequate pay and working conditions) , or they will sell handmade products from organizations already established. (ie: buy coconut oil in bulk to make their own shampoo and conditioner, or take handmade jewelry and sell it to consumers on behalf of the developing community, ensuring that the money goes directly back to that community.)

Why is it important to buy fair trade?

For me, it all comes down to this: we are seeing worse working conditions, outrageously low pay, unsafe environments, child labor, and slavery. And this is all because foreign companies and large U.S. corrperations need the cheapest labor, so they can sell it to the consumer at the cheapest price. (Walmarts "low price guarantee", anyone?)

Fair trade towns USA says this about fair trades importance:

"When you choose to purchase Fair Trade products, you are endorsing an economic system that provides opportunities for producers to lift themselves out of poverty. Fair Trade provides assurances to consumers that producers are paid fair prices for their products and labor. It gives them more direct market access which removes many of the “middle-men” who traditionally have absorbed the majority of the profits. In addition, Fair Trade provides a set of requirements that assure consumers that strict standards have been met to protect the environment, build economic sustainability, empower women, and allow opportunities for education, poverty alleviation, and health care."

So why is it so important? Because when you realize how drastically your purchases impact the lives of others, you can't help but want that impact to be a positive one. And all you have to do is shop! And we can start by shopping for things we all need, like bath and beauty products, recycled paper towels, etc. :)

Terms you should know:

Fair trade: A system of exchange that honors producers, communities, consumers, and the environment. It is a model for the global economy rooted in people-to-people connections, justice, and sustainability.

Cruelty-free: This sounds like a fair trade term, but it's not. Cruelty free is a term used when a product has not been tested on an animal.

Co-op: A co-op is when Fair trade organizations work primarily with small businesses and democratically run cooperatives that agree to reinvest a portion of profits in community projects like health care clinics and childcare programs. These cooperatives are trying to cut out any middle men, and buy only and directly through the producers to ensure fair wadges and to see community and social change. Sometimes you will see pictures and stories of the particular producer on a fair trade website.

Sustainable: This ties into the cooperatives and means that the company selling the fair trade items create opportunities for social and sustainable economic development to the producer.

USDA Organic: A product claiming to be organic using the USDA organic label means that the product is 90-95 percent organic. And although many fair trade products are organic, a product carrying this label may not be fair trade. This doesn't mean not to shop organic though! I'm a big fan of organic.

How can you tell if it's really fair trade?

This one can be tricky, as many companies are noting the recent trend in conscious shopping and can slap the fair trade name on a product, but one of the best ways to identify a fair trade item is by its label. There are two very important symbols to watch out for, So you know it is certified fair trade. Remember, just because it says it is fair trade, doesn't mean it is. Do some research first.

I am still learning about fair trade everyday and am so honored to be a part of this movement to care so deeply for the hands that make the products I use. For more information on fair trade certification and fair trade in general, visit the fair trade USA website here.