tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27093191685728246592024-03-12T22:19:58.568-04:00Simple and FreeUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-82270766031724030482018-06-10T22:36:00.003-04:002018-06-10T22:54:57.507-04:00Unconditional LoveUnconditional Love<br />
<br />
After a long day of work, Wes came home in the evening. I had just gotten Bonnie to sleep and Henry had been patiently waiting for some snuggles. When Wes came through the door Henry had just gotten into my lap for said snuggles. <br />
<br />
“Hey buddy! I missed you today! Can I have a snuggle for a bit?”<br />
“No. I want mommy snuggles.”<br />
“Okay. Can I tell you all the things I love about you? I love that you are kind, I love that you are strong ---”<br />
“Daddy. I don’t love you today. I’ll love you later.”<br />
<br />
This could have made Wes sad. Or frustrated. He could have said “Don’t say that, that hurts me.” He could have said “That’s not nice.” He could have just grabbed Henry anyway and made him snuggle. But he didn’t. Do you know what he said?<br />
<br />
“Okay. I’ll be here.”<br />
<br />
I’ll be here. <br />
<br />
No judgement. No shame. No fear. Just love with waiting arms. <br />
<br />
Henry was able to sit in that unconditional love. Unafraid. Resting within the air of peace. Knowing that nothing would take away that love. Nothing he could do will make his daddy love him less. <br />
<br />
Within a few minutes, if that, he got a big smile on his face. <br />
<br />
“Family snuggle?”<br />
<br />
He and I ran over to Wes and gave the squeeziest squeeze hugs and smiled and laughed and loved each other. <br />
<br />
As the spouse of a pastor I have often been asked if there were any Bible passages that inform or inspire my gentle parenting approach. I honestly hadn’t been able to answer other than overarching biblical themes. But tonight, this one comes to mind. <br />
<br />
1 John 4:10, 16-19<br />
<br />
“This is real love—not that we loved God, but that God loved us. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face God with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.”<br />
<br />
Perfect love expels all fear. Our children should not fear us. We won’t be perfect (we aren’t - trust me), but our love should be one that does not shame, does not hurt, does not isolate. Our love should be a deep breath in. And a slow breath out. It should be rest, peace, and without the condition of reciprocity. We love them just because and with abundant overflowing joy. <br />
<br />
May we all find this kind of love. May we feel it given to us and may we give it freely away. May we love our children as God loves us. <br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-7642872720660722582018-01-12T23:04:00.000-05:002018-01-13T08:54:54.235-05:00One Word 2018: LaughFor several years I have participated in a new years practice of picking one word to orient my life towards for that year. Words in the past have been “Rhythm” “Moments” and “Generous”. Honestly, this year I feel like so many words are needed. Words like :<br />
<br />
Breathe. <br />
Mindful.<br />
Intentional.<br />
Laugh.<br />
Explore.<br />
<br />
I need them. I need all of them. I need to remind myself do these things. But the one that I need the most, the one that I choose to orient my life towards this year is “Laugh”.<br />
<br />
I need to loosen up this year. I need to go with the flow. I have been quick to anger, I have been overwhelmed and stretched thin, and it is showing. I don’t like who I am when I don’t take care of myself. I don’t like the way I react to my children who are just doing the best they can with what they have to give. I want to smile more. I want to laugh more. I want to see my children laugh and join with them. <br />
<br />
These years of infectious untamed joy in my children are so special and feel like I am missing them. I need to relax. Let go of some of my expectations. Take time to see the little things. Give myself more time. See the good in my children and name that as often as I can. And do the same for myself. <br />
<br />
My son Henry is 4 years old now. He is young, but he is growing so quickly. I remember my sweet boy’s first smile. I remember the first days of his goofy laugh that jiggled his big chunky cheeks. Those giggles filled my heart. They gave me life. There is no greater joy than joining a delirious toddler in a laughing fit over god even knows what. It feels so good to laugh. And the best kind of laughter is the kind you do with others. It brings us together. You can chuckle at something funny when you are alone, but do you remember the kind of laughs that come from deep in your belly? The kind that make you cry. The kind that make your cheeks hurt. The kind that make you almost pee your pants? Those are the ones you do with others. Those are the ones I want to have more of with my family this year. <br />
<br />
I don’t expect it to be easy. I know I will fail. But I know it’s what I want, and I will work hard to practice it every day until maybe someday it might come a little easier than it did the day before. <br />
<br />
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<br />
GOING FORWARD:<br />
<br />
1) Practice mindful breathing in those moments I want to react. Remember to pick my battles and connect before I correct. <br />
2) Spend more one on one time with each of my kids. Try a goal of once a week, alternating kids each week. Nothing elaborate, just joining them in something they love.<br />
3) Spend regular time for myself to recharge. I cannot take care of my family if I am not taking care of myself. <br />
4) Create a few new “Family time” traditions or rituals that create space for bonding and laughter. <br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-88068537472734530542017-04-23T11:05:00.000-04:002017-04-23T11:57:05.712-04:00Why I'm ditching the word "threenager" My son Henry is three now. Three years is simultaneously one of the hardest and best ages. I can't deny it is hard. Everyone talks about two year olds as the worst but three has been by far the hardest for us. It isn't easy! Three is full of independence, self sufficiency, expression of complex emotions and learning social skills. These are not easy for child and caregiver to navigate. It is exhausting and frustrating. One moment they act like a "big kid" and the next they seem like a baby. They are in transition.<br />
<br />
There's this phrase people use to talk about three years olds. Have you heard it before? "Threenager". "My kid is being such a threenager today!" This phrase has become quite popular in parenting circles and I hear it all the time.<br />
<br />
I think the reason using the "threenager" phase is so popular is because people can see so many similarities. The problem is that we use this phrase for three year olds so negatively and consequently so negatively for teenagers. Teenagers are changing and growing in their independence, there can be a lot of high emotions and they are focused on their social circles. Teenagers are also deepening their sense of love and commitment in relationships, finding their passions and taking on new responsibilities. One moment they act like an adult and the next they seem like a child. They are in transition.<br />
<br />
I have worked with both preschoolers and teenagers at the same time for most of my adult life as a preschool teacher and a youth worker. They do feel very similar some times (Like that time I finger painted with middle school kids at youth group and it was the best thing of their life). Three year olds and teenagers have much to teach us if we listen. If only we could just slow down with them enough to find the root of the issue they are having and lead with empathy. You are an example when your child is three years old and 13 years old. You are the adult. The way that you solve problems, communicate with family and friends and manage your emotions are the example they will see and emulate.<br />
<br />
And I know you're probably going to call me a killjoy. "Gosh Amanda, it's just funny. It's just a way for me to get out the frustration of dealing with them." And you can and should find healthy ways to release that frustration in a very difficult time of development. But I would challenge you to see the ways in which using this phrase could be coloring the lenses with which you see your child. What if we started calling three's the "transparent three's" the "thoughtful three's" or the "tender three's." How would these change the way we see them? Maybe it won't. But maybe, just maybe, it could predispose you to see the wonder, excitement, imagination and creativity of three (and teen).<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
Going forward:<br />
<br />
1) Spend some time thinking about your child and list three things you admire about their personality. Post them in a place you will regularly see them.<br />
<br />
2) Try to find space for yourself to recharge once a week. One moment of filling your own cup can extend the longevity of pouring from it and giving of yourself. Even if you only have 10 minutes, do something that is just for you.<br />
<br />
3) Try to make connection a regular part of your routine with your child. Go out one on one and spend time doing something they enjoy and enjoy them! Schedules get busy, I know. Set a goal that works for your family. Once a week? Once a month? You will know.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-76060505075036423562017-01-08T11:15:00.000-05:002017-01-08T11:17:54.546-05:00Rhythm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Every year I try to pick one word to guide me. One year my word was <a href="http://simplygrand.blogspot.com/2013/02/be-generous.html" target="_blank">“Generous”</a> another year was the word <a href="http://simplygrand.blogspot.com/2014/01/moments.html" target="_blank">“Moments”</a>. This year my word is:</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Rhythm. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I feel so busy all of the time. Being a pastor’s wife, a mother of two children ages 3 and 3 months…not to mention cooking and cleaning and play dates and music class. My 3 year old Henry is feisty and fierce and kind and loving and I love him so much but the days are hard sometimes. 3 year olds need so much connection and communication. They need a calm presence to get through big emotions. They take a lot of patience and intentionality. </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">My 3 month old Bonnie is, well, 3 months old. She nurses all day, and although such a patient baby who loves to play alone on her play mat, sometimes she is just so very particular, like, “Hold me, but not while you sit, you have to stand. Don’t move either when you are holding me, just stand riiiight here. Oh you think you can sit down since I don’t want you to move? I SAID STAND, WOMAN!” And honestly my 3 year old wakes more often at night than my tiny baby and then everyone wakes at 6 am. </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I try making weekly date nights with my husband but that never works out. We're too tired and too overwhelmed. I know it's an important relationship to maintain but at the end of the night he wants to watch a movie and I want to watch youtube videos and so we do these things in the same space but we are not together. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I am so happy in this messy life, I really am. But I am also tired and I often feel like I’m just barely keeping my head above the water, and I have to keep treading and treading or else I’ll drown. I have no time. I want to give my kids time. I want to give my husband time. I want to give myself time.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I don’t want to be a slave to time and routine either though. I don’t want to be strict and limited. I just want some healthy rhythms. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I want to say that every day I will give myself space to do something just for me. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I want to spend every dinner together at the table and talk to each other. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I want a moment to spend outside every day with my kids (even if I really, REALLY don’t want to…it’s too cold!)</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I want time with just Henry.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I want time with just Bonnie.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I want time with Just Wes. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I don’t want a schedule. I don’t want a routine. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I just want a rhythm. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">How can I create the best conditions for these rhythms to happen naturally? These are my ideas that I think will work for me:</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<ol class="ol1">
<li class="li1"><span class="s2"></span><span class="s1">No social media while my children are awake. </span></li>
<li class="li1"><span class="s2"></span><span class="s1">Wake up just a bit before the kids do.</span></li>
<li class="li1">Spend a little time right after they go to bed doing a quick tidy up.</li>
<li class="li1">Reserve the evening for one on one reconnecting.<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></li>
</ol>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Will I always do these every day? Probably not. But it’s a posture. It is a direction I want to go. It is not one more thing I need to do. It is a rhythm. A rhythm, I pray, that lifts me out of the overwhelming waters, and instead lets me splash and play in the waves.</span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-71397395631318832222016-10-11T22:45:00.001-04:002016-10-14T16:54:30.463-04:00Bonnie - Our Birth StoryMy sweet Bonnie, this is the story of your birth. On the night I went into labor we were watching a movie called "The Little Prince". It is a beautiful story. We were almost finished watching it at 10:30pm when my water broke - which was quite surprising for me! I wanted you to come early, and most of the pregnancy I felt you would, but I had given up that idea because nothing in this pregnancy had gone the way I thought, and you were quite cozy and content in there. I had no signs that you were coming. I called my midwife and let her know what had happened. And she trusted me to come in when I felt ready.<br />
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When I got off the phone, I couldn't stop smiling. My baby was coming. I felt my heart fill with peace - something that wasn't always present during this pregnancy. You see, this pregnancy was rough. Not only was I physically sick for more than half of the pregnancy but I was also emotionally and mentally unstable for almost all of it. I was diagnosed with prenatal depression and anxiety. I did not have it before getting pregnant, but from 8 weeks - 8 months I had what often felt like debilitating depression and anxiety. My doctors, midwives and counselor all thought it might be hormone related due to the extra estrogen my body was producing (I think they were right as it almost completely disappeared as soon as you were born). I was also diagnosed with thrombocytopenia - a condition that can happen in 5-7% of pregnancies that causes low platelet levels in the blood. Low platelet levels can cause issues with the blood being able to clot properly. Levels under 100 get refereed to a hematologist. Levels under 90 cannot get an epidural. Levels under 70 are often treated with steroids, and at 50 is where they really worry about the blood not being able to clot. My levels went all the way down to 66. I was so nervous about this, even though it is well managed when the medical team knows the numbers are low. And to add even more onto my stress I was gbs positive which meant I had to get to the hospital earlier than I had wanted in order to receive antibiotics every 4 hours that I was in labor.<br />
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But in all this, I had peace and joy.<br />
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My contractions started an hour later and we decided to head to the hospital once they were consistent.<br />
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On our drive to the hospital I listened to George Winston, my favorite pianist, and continued to listen to his beautiful music throughout. We arrived at 1:00am and by 2:00am I got my first dose of antibiotics and was told I was 4 cm dilated. Since it was the middle of the night I told Wes to sleep. I didn't see anyone else for the next 4 hours until my next dose of antibiotics at 6:00am. Those 4 hours I sat on the hospital bed in the butterfly yoga pose with the lights off. I didn't want to move into any other position. My contractions were getting pretty intense but were never closer together than 8 minutes a part - with many being 12 minutes a part. Although Wes slept, I held his hand and he talked me through the contractions when they were too much for me to get through on my own. The contractions were painful, yes, but they are a beautiful pain. Because each one brings me closer to you.<br />
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At 6:00am I was given the dose of antibiotics and was checked again. I was 6 cm and so disappointed to hear that. If things progessed in the same timing as the rest of the labor I didn't know how I could go another 4+ hours with the pain. Oh, and I hadn't even see my midwife yet. She was planning on waiting until the nurses called her when my contractions were closer together or just come in at her regular scheduled arrival time to the hospital at 7:00am.<br />
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At 6:45am - 45 minutes after being told I was 6 cm - I had a very intense contraction and my body pushed. At 7:00am my midwife Patty arrived. Did I mention I had not met Patty before? Half way into my pregnancy I switched care because of our move, to a group of 3 midwives and Patty was the last one I needed to meet but just hadn't yet. She was a wonderful and kind spirit as soon as she walked into the room. I promptly told her that at the last contraction I had to push. "Alright! Let me go put my things down and get some stuff together and we can see how things are going."<br />
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When she left I had another contraction and could not stop myself from pushing again. My baby, I felt you move down into the birth canal. Patty came back in and I said "I'm so sorry. I pushed again!" She laughed and said "That's ok! Let's check you." When she did, she confirmed what I knew - I was 10 cm and you were there and I was ready to push. "We're going to have this baby now." She said as she looked into my eyes. This woman exuded compassion and wisdom and connection. "When you push I want you to look at me and keep looking at me. I will help guide you in your pushes. You can push whenever your body tells you to." <br />
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I pushed two times. On that last push, at 7:34am, you were born. As I pushed I reached down and pulled you out and brought you to my chest. You were so peaceful. You didn't cry, you just stared at me. My heart grew a million times bigger in those first moments with you. Every thing else faded away. Daddy kept trying to get my to pick your name (since we went into the birth with 3 names) but I didn't want to think about anything. I just wanted to look at you. You nursed right away and perfectly and we got to spend an hour of skin to skin with you before they weighted you. 7lbs 4 oz, 20 inches long. Your daddy was instantly in love with you, and of course let you stay on my chest for awhile, but he could not wait to hold you and talk to you.<br />
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Bonnie Irene Ellis, you are so special. You are 2 weeks old now and I feel like you've been with me my whole life. We love you so much and we have loved you before we even knew you. My pregnancy was hard. So very hard. It was awful. But you, my sweet, are good. You are peace. And you are love.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-17865241347125044362016-10-04T19:12:00.000-04:002016-10-14T16:56:04.578-04:00Bonnie Irene - How You Chose Your NameNaming this baby was anything but easy! When we were pregnant with Henry we picked his name about half way through the pregnancy and even announced his name to the world before he was born. With Henry, it wasn't really that we both just "knew" his name - it's just that we do not agree at all on boy names. We went through so SO many names that each one of us would immediately veto. Once we found one we both liked, Henry was named!<br />
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But with girl names we are the exact opposite. We BOTH liked the same 20 names on a list we made. 20 names!!! Eventually we got down to 6 names and stayed there for many, many months. I just couldn't decide. Every time I would take a name off the list, I would miss it and add it back. I really liked them all, and no one name jumped out at me as hers. They were all special to me and meant something particular. We eventually decided to take 3 names into the birth with us and hope that seeing her helped.<br />
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One of these names was Bonnie Irene.<br />
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Bonnie was on the list very early on. Both Wes and I loved the sweetness and simplicity of the name. We loved that it was a name people were familiar with but that wasn't used often. We loved the nickname Bo. It went nicely with the style of Henry's name. We even interviewed a friend named Bonnie on her name and how she liked it! It was one of the names that Wes favored the most from the very beginning.<br />
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I will elaborate in our birth story just how difficult this pregnancy had been, but it was not easy. A few months before she was born I was writing in a journal about how awful things had been emotionally and physically for me "But my daughter," I wrote "she is good."<br />
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Bonnie means "Good."<br />
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For a while I thought that maybe the way she was born might help narrow down her name. My birth with her turned out to be quick, uncomplicated, beautiful and calm. When I grabbed her and pulled her to my chest she just stared at me. She didn't cry. She just looked into my eyes. She was so peaceful.<br />
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Irene means "Peace."<br />
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Irene is also, more importantly, my wonderful Aunt Debi's middle name (and my great grandma's middle name as well). There is no one more perfect as my daughters name sake. Anyone who knows her can tell you how sweet, loving, caring and very silly my Aunt Debi is. She is someone I have always felt loved by. I have always felt I could trust. She has lifted me up when my depression and anxiety seemed to take over my life, and she has lifted me with joy as we have shared countless memories of laughter. She is someone I want my daughter to have as a quietly powerful woman to look up to. To remind her that love is not aggressive or manipulative but patient and kind. I love my Aunt Debi more than I can say, and I know how much my daughter will love her too.<br />
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I took about an hour after she was born to officially name her, but I knew right when I saw her. Together one interpretation of her first and middle name is "Beautiful Peace" or "Good Peace" and really, she named herself.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-43315983005037833112016-02-12T02:39:00.000-05:002016-10-14T16:56:42.316-04:00Birth Body<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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I'm coming to terms with my post birth body. We were at odds for a bit.<br />
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After I had Henry, the first time I got up in the hospital to walk, I knew this body was different now. And as weeks went on and I healed, I still noticed that this body isn't the one I knew before. All my bones and joints felt different. My hips felt literally stretched out. I even walked differently! It took so long to get use to the one I had before (Yes, "skinny girls" wish they had different bodies too. We all want what we don't have! I wanted those curves, girl!), and now I had to get to know this one too.<br />
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<b>Most women</b> have scars and stretch marks after birth. But some how they are still "shameful". People are terrified they will get them, and are mortified when they show up. BUT IT'S NORMAL!<br />
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I read this article http://weseekjoy.blogspot.com/2013/12/babies-ruin-bodies.html?m=1 and WOW. I began to see my body differently. I hated my post birth body. My stretch marks are mostly on my breasts, and one in particular. They aren't pretty. The marks on my left breast cover the sides and all underneath and will peek through if I wear anything low cut. There go the days of bikinis on the beach! I know I am blessed in the weight department. All the weight I gained was the baby and as soon as he was out, so was the weight. Cool I suppose. Everyone comments on it. "You don't look like you had a baby!" But I do underneath what you can't see. I bear the marks of a baby who lived inside of me. I have a small section on my side that has stretch marks from where I kept him safe and warm inside my body which doesn't bother me at all, and the majority of the scars on my breasts after he came into this world as I fed him with this body that God made.<br />
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A couple of months after my baby was born, and I was still down every time I looked at my body, I asked my husband to take pictures of my stretch marks as a way for me to heal and process them. And it was healing for me. I didn't just want to take pictures of the scars, but I wanted to take pictures of them with my baby next to them, as a reminder of the breathe taking creation they came from.<br />
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So why do I feel like I need to share these publicly? I could just have them for myself for my own personal healing. But I guess I just want others to know it's okay. My body is perfect. Your body is perfect. I want to be another voice to eradicate the media's ideal of a perfect body. All bodies are beautiful. Especially when I think that these particular scars are directly tied to the birth and life of my son.<br />
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You may have more or less scars than I do. You may have a lot more. But this is my story. No one is more or less fortunate in their post birth bodies. They just are. And they are beautiful because they carried LIFE.<br />
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Look, I don't LIKE them. But they are mine. These scars are a part of my story. They will stay with me. They remind me of the journey we took as a family, growing and preparing for this baby to join us. They tell me I am strong. They tell me I am patient. They tell me I am loving. They tell me I am mom.<br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I wrote the above post 2 years ago. I have written many versions of it but I wasn't quite ready to share it. But I am now. And when I look at these pictures 2 years later and see that gorgeous start of a smile on my sons face, the scars fade away. And just as a reassurance to some, all those scars faded away. You can still feel them, but you can't see them anymore. The ones on my side are special to me as they are so close to where I carried my child. When my hand accidentally brushes up against them I am reminded of those days when I pondered if I could ever love him as much outside the womb as I did inside. Well of course I love him more outside but it's still a very special thing, those months with your baby so very close, just you and them, growing together. Our bodies are weird. And strong. And precious. And bad-A. Be kind to that body. Learn to love that body. It is yours. It is not perfect. But it IS perfect.</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-50129035361635023732016-01-23T13:02:00.001-05:002016-01-25T15:54:13.885-05:00How (Not) to Inspire a Child's CreativityLast week I let my son paint with some oil paints. Art has always been very important to me. I come from a family of very artistic people and my parents never withheld quality art supplies for us to experiment with. Crayola colored pencils? NO WAY. We had Primsmacolor colored pencils - the good stuff - at our finger tips as young children. And I want this for my son too, even at 2 years old. I want him to experiment with all kinds of mediums and create how ever and whatever he wants to.<br>
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So back to the oils paints.<br>
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I thought this would be a fun idea - something we could hang in his room. And then I immediately regretted letting a 2 year old paint with oil paints. Not only was this messy - like how the hell are you suppose to get oil paint out of clothes?! - but he mixed all of the colors together and the canvas literally looked like a giant poop smudge. And I might not have even minded a poop colored oil painting if there was any kind of pattern or cool splattering effect. But it was all covered in a giant blob.<br>
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A few days after letting it dry, that poop colored blob starting me in the face, I decided to make it usable. I couldn't have that hanging in his room...but maybe I could fix it. So I took my son Henry's painting and I used the back of a pen to carve out a big letter "H". Ahhh much better. Now it has purpose. Now it looks cool. Seriously, it looked kinda cool because the colors underneath shown through. So I carved it out and let it dry for a few days.<br>
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But each time I passed that big "H" my heart felt heavier and heavier. I had taken my child's work of art and made it my own. My son is only a toddler, but toddlers are smart. This says to him "I'm better at this than you." "What you made isn't creative" "Your vision of art is ugly" "Your art is not good enough" "You are not good enough". </div>
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Henry liked his painting. He smiled when he made it. He laughed when he mixed the colors. He was enjoying being creative. He was delighting in his art. It was beautiful simply because it was beautiful to him. </div>
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And I ruined it. </div>
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I took a beautiful painting and I made it into something I thought had been redeemed but in turn I ruined it. How could I do this when creativity is something so very important to me? Giving my children full reign of their art experience is a core philosophy for me! How could I have done this?</div>
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And while I am sad that I took my sons art and made it into my own, I am glad it happened. </div>
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It reminded me of what matters. It reminded me that art and creativity are vital parts of humanity. It reminded me that art is about the process, not the product. And if art only exists to please others, we've missed the point. And I never want my child to make art solely for others. I want him to do it for himself. Because he finds joy in the process. Because he laughs when he experiments. Because HE finds it beautiful. </div>
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I decided to take a better look at his art area in our house and make it even more Henry friendly than I had it set up like before. My goal is for him to have an creative space where he has: </div>
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1) Access art materials at his level at all times and that</div>
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2) Those materiel be appropriate for use without close supervision.</div>
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I removed all of the art supplies that were at his reach that I could get frustrated over ending up on the walls or floors: basically I only left washable materials at his reach: ultra-washable crayons, markers ink pads and stamps. If any of these get on the walls or floor they are very easily wiped away! No problem! </div>
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I moved the sheets of paper down at eye level so he could grab one whenever he wanted. I moved all the paints, watercolors, colored pencils and other materials that needed more supervision up high so I could bring them down when we wanted to try a new art medium with careful supervision. </div>
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<br>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-28853365984708309792016-01-15T23:08:00.003-05:002016-01-15T23:41:35.526-05:00Down to the River to Pray - A Self Weaning Journey<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">My sweet babe has begun to self-wean. I have been asking my husband Wes to take pictures because very soon, any day now, I will look back and realize it was the last day I nursed him. So I am cherishing these moments. Remembering the long nights of nursing every 45 minutes during a growth spurt. Nursing to sleep every nap and every night and every wake before the sun came up (until just a few weeks ago).</span></div>
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<span class="s1">For those unfamiliar with breast feeding beyond a year, it is commonly referred to as extended breastfeeding. The World Health Organization recommends "Exclusive breastfeeding up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond." There is no real number for when a child is ready to wean on their own, but it's generally going to be between 2 and 3 years old. </span></div>
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<span class="s1">Extended breastfeeding looks much different from the early days of nursing, but it is still very important for the toddler as well. We often see breastfeeding as purely nutritional—only nurse to feed the baby—but nursing is calming, centering, and soothing too. My child will nurse when he falls down, when he's having a tantrum, or when he is overwhelmed and just wants to be close. I am a centering figure for him to look towards to feel confident and independent and curious and adventurous. And I am blessed to be that. I know not everyone is able to breast feed, for various reasons, but if you can breast feed—do it! It is messy, it is frustrating, it is beautiful, and it is glorious. Now my child is finishing this journey. And all children do. I am so thankful that I’ve been able to wait until he is ready to wean on his own.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">It is a hard journey to breast feed. It is one of the most tangible ways a mother gives of herself. It is giving your body up to nourish that precious baby who needs you to live. What a wonderful gift that is. An amazing thing to go through...my body sustains life! I remember being pregnant and thinking "Yeah, sure I'll breastfeed. It's cheap - it's FREE." (If you know the penny-pincher I am, this shouldn't surprise you). I had no idea. I had no idea the power it would give me. The love it would trigger. The bond it held together. The sisterhood it created.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">I could not have gone through this journey had it not been for the amazing women who came along side me, who told me it was okay to text them at 3am if I didn't know what to do (and I did text them!), who skyped me and watched me nurse and helped me position my baby in a more comfortable way to promote a better latch—the women who came over the week after his birth and listened to me cry because it hurt and because I didn't know if he was getting enough—and the women who told me it was okay to nurse as long as both my child and I wanted to. (Thank you. All of you. You know who you are).</span></div>
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<span class="s1">A few weeks ago, on Christmas Day, my family was sitting around and singing (as we often do). My brother and Aunt and I started singing "Down to the River to Pray" and we began to sing the verse that says:</span></div>
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<span class="s1">"O Mothers let's go down</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Let's go down, come on down</span></div>
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<span class="s1">O Mothers let's go down</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Down to the river to pray"</span></div>
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<span class="s1">Just as I started singing the words, my sweet baby came up to me and asked to nurse. I cradled him in my arms and sang these powerful words about mothers as I looked into the eyes of my child. Love overflowed in my heart and tears welled up in my eyes. Everything else faded away as I sang about mothers while participating in a part of motherhood that is as old as they come. That ancient practice that connects child and mother to one another. It was as if the voices of those women of the past enveloped me with love and courage, swirling around me, binding us all together in beautiful harmony.</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span><span class="s1">That night I felt incredible joy as I reflected on my story of breast feeding and the community of women who surrounded me in love and wisdom. I have had a beautiful breast feeding journey. Everyone's journey is different. And this is mine. </span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg7x2-symSFaOOwlgIDd9LTHW_t0vixSWzt3H8tUpa15p_oqfKZV4HZ1sbJlRD3PvFVgXPhpE0Y2F1CqggwvublMYkRXwzH4FqKNTLJpkZZW04WhPXj_VLBzmlLSL4LPFLq8nuOcr0obE/s1600/IMG_3250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg7x2-symSFaOOwlgIDd9LTHW_t0vixSWzt3H8tUpa15p_oqfKZV4HZ1sbJlRD3PvFVgXPhpE0Y2F1CqggwvublMYkRXwzH4FqKNTLJpkZZW04WhPXj_VLBzmlLSL4LPFLq8nuOcr0obE/s320/IMG_3250.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just a few days old</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGmUvfXox7dMsJ-34Thwjlql8HZbNqmvbEY12T-xQo6WPOx5e7Ryc6wxSX7jB6g-gxUfcCRyIKRojZSdYYdoJEgvXbswLLrMzpHEB8dqqDsSNB-Jj845x7jXMo-BsZFR8REF5lTHgq7gY/s1600/IMG_4295.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGmUvfXox7dMsJ-34Thwjlql8HZbNqmvbEY12T-xQo6WPOx5e7Ryc6wxSX7jB6g-gxUfcCRyIKRojZSdYYdoJEgvXbswLLrMzpHEB8dqqDsSNB-Jj845x7jXMo-BsZFR8REF5lTHgq7gY/s320/IMG_4295.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look at those eyes!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB8sRmD9M2EKa0oGK_S498OEk4ZRw_OGWDLUzN9ESZ9aw0aCZvc6MSvRdV1oq6VyAm2Kg4J1wlKHRR0ihdVQJ-K-3wK8XtJPMhAzeSul9bmVDBkeZURdkFGcWE1pGewlkrf7QqrUUc3yQ/s1600/IMG_5728.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB8sRmD9M2EKa0oGK_S498OEk4ZRw_OGWDLUzN9ESZ9aw0aCZvc6MSvRdV1oq6VyAm2Kg4J1wlKHRR0ihdVQJ-K-3wK8XtJPMhAzeSul9bmVDBkeZURdkFGcWE1pGewlkrf7QqrUUc3yQ/s320/IMG_5728.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look at dat latch! :O</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibTGUNIgReg4zQ5SFXZqHKRpyH2CSTwfN4ZITaSOT19haDJFhQxcaRYeO-vpcwodMVx0eVkwjySED3mfsGNjB9lMsvh-BNeqgYObuqkaPWEaUBK6DA5de-eBbUywW_aMw-GVNcJOQW6y8/s1600/IMG_2228.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibTGUNIgReg4zQ5SFXZqHKRpyH2CSTwfN4ZITaSOT19haDJFhQxcaRYeO-vpcwodMVx0eVkwjySED3mfsGNjB9lMsvh-BNeqgYObuqkaPWEaUBK6DA5de-eBbUywW_aMw-GVNcJOQW6y8/s320/IMG_2228.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of my favorites - a candid shot</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcg9kM0oZFMTx-I1c8ANzWxFgjbeCeosBzEbMSM8Swj2NgbXKnxXyNnSNEdC8zNLCe9yjbuy9oxrIvrIZYRrTrrV9PQMA-smXFEcPeGvpEbjLbFpdUPV1llAvbNx_t0bpfPohIa9Twmrc/s1600/bfawareness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcg9kM0oZFMTx-I1c8ANzWxFgjbeCeosBzEbMSM8Swj2NgbXKnxXyNnSNEdC8zNLCe9yjbuy9oxrIvrIZYRrTrrV9PQMA-smXFEcPeGvpEbjLbFpdUPV1llAvbNx_t0bpfPohIa9Twmrc/s320/bfawareness.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beautiful Photoshoot I got to be apart of for Breastfeeding Awareness <br />
taken by the amazing Kristy Powell<br />
(Henry and I are on the far right)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9_DdGAx8WrCjM2Y-2ZcBNh_bTnQ2iC8y6gmTvLVBcs7ncY6AXpQAcfteq4sS8yINAFr-tkLaWcs8GgeL7zNFzWCCgbzBzv1bfGdYLq_oeV2ldRCppULaEvKWKvdIc4Zl608RvRbKQe7E/s1600/IMG_6502.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9_DdGAx8WrCjM2Y-2ZcBNh_bTnQ2iC8y6gmTvLVBcs7ncY6AXpQAcfteq4sS8yINAFr-tkLaWcs8GgeL7zNFzWCCgbzBzv1bfGdYLq_oeV2ldRCppULaEvKWKvdIc4Zl608RvRbKQe7E/s320/IMG_6502.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Self Portrait for World Breast Feeding Week</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0iHwlAEdHCjbZcBfhEs7oR2BKfzxwl2qacYZ2BxE10_wsfVq1wNgN9Vh6qa5xKAEK3xcqnPkUCVqepy38sOTXrkcUi1cuaTG99S4Fukm-MB8fxL3HNl1Wqg7xT5VG-M57OwyFLOFvTRE/s1600/IMG_1283.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0iHwlAEdHCjbZcBfhEs7oR2BKfzxwl2qacYZ2BxE10_wsfVq1wNgN9Vh6qa5xKAEK3xcqnPkUCVqepy38sOTXrkcUi1cuaTG99S4Fukm-MB8fxL3HNl1Wqg7xT5VG-M57OwyFLOFvTRE/s320/IMG_1283.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All the laughs</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEintd0Nk3YcKDI_9YUFoYRaG-2XW-NRsoO44XVTY-BaBWGYKxDdmafurldWF67VnWqGkypDKbRheC90kpbZNT_J7k3SNFv3E65ck3SVN2bYkGlv161RaSAhtXN_zN4oytjoXEOKkfWB9iU/s1600/IMG_7122.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEintd0Nk3YcKDI_9YUFoYRaG-2XW-NRsoO44XVTY-BaBWGYKxDdmafurldWF67VnWqGkypDKbRheC90kpbZNT_J7k3SNFv3E65ck3SVN2bYkGlv161RaSAhtXN_zN4oytjoXEOKkfWB9iU/s320/IMG_7122.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My happy boy</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0HjHBKy03chqYUgwjN4XkTUOCspOqsXdIvkUbo-SP-TApf-O3AbSGbLNjnvV5e5EDqclNuoTDRYPCLDpMncJ73NpYMGbnXfGts8ku45rHhFXsSx9_GojWjZWep5xTFqO9Ph8f_oTuJFY/s1600/IMG_8858.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0HjHBKy03chqYUgwjN4XkTUOCspOqsXdIvkUbo-SP-TApf-O3AbSGbLNjnvV5e5EDqclNuoTDRYPCLDpMncJ73NpYMGbnXfGts8ku45rHhFXsSx9_GojWjZWep5xTFqO9Ph8f_oTuJFY/s320/IMG_8858.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Early morning hammock nursing - relaxing!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsuEhqXtJLj9zn3-PxVmiIPzfLUGiFjRw-YLZeoUcCaPdx65Bmu_q9AC7WmcfATLBh2X-JQBOzRO2bF4Prhw9iNaMvEMYFUJ0qhH2oPZgwoYnX_D9VNHK5gIt9YKvBrNnuMTBkgdh2zgk/s1600/IMG_4952.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsuEhqXtJLj9zn3-PxVmiIPzfLUGiFjRw-YLZeoUcCaPdx65Bmu_q9AC7WmcfATLBh2X-JQBOzRO2bF4Prhw9iNaMvEMYFUJ0qhH2oPZgwoYnX_D9VNHK5gIt9YKvBrNnuMTBkgdh2zgk/s320/IMG_4952.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I call this "Selfies and Nursies"</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqXdPGPYydHdJ1ZmsRWwvLdB-uc6vEYDWnjDt2vK2HSussZfEmqt3CDAnL0qV0bh7DRYR01Y0ehPJuQVTJCF0tjHVotKhzdRtdoBZLI2xKw01IRctvlmxd0Qirjxu3kuKnidXqQ5x4Oag/s1600/IMG_9279.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqXdPGPYydHdJ1ZmsRWwvLdB-uc6vEYDWnjDt2vK2HSussZfEmqt3CDAnL0qV0bh7DRYR01Y0ehPJuQVTJCF0tjHVotKhzdRtdoBZLI2xKw01IRctvlmxd0Qirjxu3kuKnidXqQ5x4Oag/s320/IMG_9279.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">More Selfies and Nursies</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcDW80k-F_TOrIZKg6ar1-iD8EbQzw-Yp0UsvqFHY00zFwYI9zPSB1IYQDEexrpvW0mZz4rF_EwSZvoafNSrqdj6zu4IUV-g3s3ubzblOHCahuK5Bedwp9n8pbCAt8Q4E09vnh5Bx_Ozk/s1600/IMG_5716.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcDW80k-F_TOrIZKg6ar1-iD8EbQzw-Yp0UsvqFHY00zFwYI9zPSB1IYQDEexrpvW0mZz4rF_EwSZvoafNSrqdj6zu4IUV-g3s3ubzblOHCahuK5Bedwp9n8pbCAt8Q4E09vnh5Bx_Ozk/s320/IMG_5716.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Most recent (and probably last) picture of Henry nursing</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTwzX0EIklsIx3UKoFueG7stUx60L8KjRN6pNgTyiH27gmBsSancTJZnEfbuz5Ad08-XrB_8s2W9g22mFemLM2lNVcUtH5IYIcNELm2pzKOJ7XkGJpdKJ3qouHmnf0obsLuAhAdlNhA4c/s1600/IMG_5709.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTwzX0EIklsIx3UKoFueG7stUx60L8KjRN6pNgTyiH27gmBsSancTJZnEfbuz5Ad08-XrB_8s2W9g22mFemLM2lNVcUtH5IYIcNELm2pzKOJ7XkGJpdKJ3qouHmnf0obsLuAhAdlNhA4c/s320/IMG_5709.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I'll love you forever, I'll love you for always<br />
As long as I'm living my baby you'll be"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-76147547808234379072015-11-28T14:12:00.001-05:002015-11-28T14:17:49.860-05:00Henry's Montessori Bedroom - Two Year Update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I can't believe my little baby is now a full fledged toddler! Henry just turned two years old last month and we are loving the terrific twos! (I wrote about my anticipation of the <a href="http://simplygrand.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-terrific-twos.html" target="_blank">"terrific twos" here</a>)</div>
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With his ever growing independence, Henry's room is changing right along with him (<a href="http://simplygrand.blogspot.com/2014/10/henrys-montessori-bedroom.html" target="_blank">click here </a>to see how we had it set up at 10 months and <a href="http://simplygrand.blogspot.com/2015/07/henry-montessori-bedroom-18-month-update.html" target="_blank">click here</a> to see how we had it set up at 18 months!) Here is how his Montessori style room has been arranged for this season of life:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP0BYNNVleaViYYOXDi_cjcyRWmAp9O-LEPrP4HenSss7pdtOZTaXPdlODNdDXVM_q7kzE0UIiqmFaGBvQpqb4unahsL0BpJZGXoiXRWegZ-SxeONUNryk54jcho2djOFkjbI5h5F1uD4/s1600/IMG_5082.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP0BYNNVleaViYYOXDi_cjcyRWmAp9O-LEPrP4HenSss7pdtOZTaXPdlODNdDXVM_q7kzE0UIiqmFaGBvQpqb4unahsL0BpJZGXoiXRWegZ-SxeONUNryk54jcho2djOFkjbI5h5F1uD4/s320/IMG_5082.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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We've switched this corner from a creative play area to a larger reading nook. Henry loves books and I love that he can get any book he wants whenever the mood takes him! There are also 3 blue baskets on the bottom shelves that have finger puppets, trains and train tracks in them. The top middle basket has our musical instruments in it.</div>
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Henry still sleeps on his floor bed! My husband and I switch off cuddling Henry to sleep each night. It is truly a cherished time for all of us, and we will continue to spend those precious moments with him as he falls asleep until he does not need it anymore. He still wakes once a night around 4:30-5:30 (night waking is actually normal until 5!) and comes into our bed at that wake up to cosleep with us for the rest of the night, usually waking up for the day around 7:30am.</div>
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This corner was the reading area and now houses a toddler bed! I am a nanny and so when children come over to my house they often take their naps in this bed while Henry sleeps in his floor bed. Sometimes Henry will ask to sleep in this bed...maybe once a month. In the right corner we have a bin of his favorite stuffed animals, which he is SO INTO right now! He picks about 5 or 6 of them to sleep with at night now. It's very sweet :) We also have that awesome road rug - Henry often plays with trucks or trains on that great rug. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju8arLYM72wWo25K16iIs61n98TI17MiiK3yh2BVn0whLQskXOVufiLTPcSJI4RTbBSIshVben8QmCNbRD5fb4HWpHPyBVNKEGFI4CpRi10v5SXyqDvEN5SvGS2jIoqxAE7bb61Pv7QKI/s1600/IMG_5085.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju8arLYM72wWo25K16iIs61n98TI17MiiK3yh2BVn0whLQskXOVufiLTPcSJI4RTbBSIshVben8QmCNbRD5fb4HWpHPyBVNKEGFI4CpRi10v5SXyqDvEN5SvGS2jIoqxAE7bb61Pv7QKI/s320/IMG_5085.JPG" width="244" /></a></div>
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Our bookshelf has the bottom two shelves accessible to Henry. They have a hammer toy and a basket of toy foods, and a drum and a basket of sensory bottles and juggling scarves. The top shelf has the diapers and his socks and hats. </div>
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I just recently put up this adorable mirror (which he calls a "camera"...too many selfies I think! Ha!) He absolutely adores this and loves to talk to himself or show his stuffed animals what they look like. Eventually I want to have a self care section where he can get dressed on his own and use the mirror to brush teeth and hair by himself, but space is limited! </div>
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This sleep journey and figuring out what works best for our family has been a wonderful experience. There are so many options so have courage that you will find something that feels right for you!</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-29669156312271613912015-09-29T14:04:00.001-04:002015-09-29T14:10:14.816-04:00The Terrific Two'sTwo is hard.<br />
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Picture this: a frazzled looking mom juggling groceries in one hand, diaper bag in the other, desperately trying to hold onto the hand of a screaming toddler who has half their body flailing on the ground and the other half clawing at the mothers grip. And then an old lady appears from the shadows sharing that age old phrase with warning in their voice "Uh-oh! The terrible two's. Good luck!" and she walks away as quickly as she came, leaving them in the middle of the grocery isle.<br />
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I mean, this is what two's are all about, right? Two is terrible tantrums and ear piercing screams! Two is "mine mine mine!" and "no no no!" Two is awful. But is it? Two is HARD, yes. These precious beings are growing into their independence, learning how to navigate language, exploring boundaries. They have big feelings in a little body, and they are processing so much.<br />
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If you expect two's to be terrible, they probably will be.<br />
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My son Henry will be two years old next month, and honestly I'm not scared. I'm not afraid of how I'm going to handle that famous age everyone has been warning me about. I am EXCITED for two!<br />
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My mom is a wonderful and warm human being. When I was growing up all I ever heard about the two's was how much my mom GUSHED over them. When each of us (4 children) were two years old she would scoop us up, showering us with hugs and call us her "terrific two's". Because yes, two is hard.<br />
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But two is magical.<br />
Two is full of wonder.<br />
Exploration.<br />
Experiments.<br />
Little details.<br />
Wildflowers.<br />
Rocks.<br />
Mud.<br />
Running in the rain.<br />
Smiles that reach all the way up to their ears.<br />
Giggles deep in their bellies.<br />
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Two is hard.<br />
They yell.<br />
They learn anger.<br />
They learn to hit.<br />
They learn "no!"<br />
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They learn that they are a person too.<br />
They learn to whisper.<br />
They learn to hug so tight you think your heart will explode.<br />
They learn love.<br />
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Two is hard.<br />
But two is glorious.<br />
Two is beautiful.<br />
Two is fun.<br />
Two is silly.<br />
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Two is terrific.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-40713402597951788082015-07-03T12:54:00.000-04:002015-09-29T14:13:21.533-04:00Henry's Montessori Bedroom - 18 Month UpdateWhen my son Henry was 10 months, we decided to rethink where and how he slept. After talking with others about our options for a gentle sleep solution, we decided on a Montessori style floor bed and bedroom set up. <a href="http://simplygrand.blogspot.com/2014/10/henrys-montessori-bedroom.html" target="_blank">Read here</a> about how we set up his room from 10 months old -18 months old and the philosophy behind a Montessori bedroom. As he is growing we have changed the room to fit his needs. Here is a quick 18 month update on how we've set it up now!<br />
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<b>THE BED</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr4z4ToWYCTNyQToYx5wbngVJv92_m86Ib3-zMrI5EbjQJR-vM-EJom2s7KAhhXKEYq7lHa4NBGGWOhLPaaK6iY8JRyF8oIAN4JUurI5bhilRCMFEHMzjSe5ShITSLAtMDrUHFi3vRXC0/s640/blogger-image-1468796360.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr4z4ToWYCTNyQToYx5wbngVJv92_m86Ib3-zMrI5EbjQJR-vM-EJom2s7KAhhXKEYq7lHa4NBGGWOhLPaaK6iY8JRyF8oIAN4JUurI5bhilRCMFEHMzjSe5ShITSLAtMDrUHFi3vRXC0/s640/blogger-image-1468796360.jpg" /></a></div>
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Henry still uses his floor bed but now we have his own toddler sized pillow and blanket made by his great grandma. He is obsessed with dogs! We still cuddle to sleep for every nap and night time (my husband and I switch off every other night). When it's my night to cuddle we nurse before drifting off to sleep. Recently he began sleeping all the way through until morning about 3 times a week. The other nights when he wakes up in the middle of the night, my husband gets him and he joins us in our family bed for the rest of the night. </div>
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<b>PLAY AREA</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ2bHBK9nUi0p5hG83GRkkloYgMCBNnfwCnT4Cmlorp_X0wYdPi9BxtpxBpiZUyS4Q5jPKzRIF0yW1GTAs4Xvvitzh6OdywFFQ1o1CwT8gVPqN9QFLIxlfUKtstZmutVxYBUlK56ppvKo/s640/blogger-image--1098033969.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ2bHBK9nUi0p5hG83GRkkloYgMCBNnfwCnT4Cmlorp_X0wYdPi9BxtpxBpiZUyS4Q5jPKzRIF0yW1GTAs4Xvvitzh6OdywFFQ1o1CwT8gVPqN9QFLIxlfUKtstZmutVxYBUlK56ppvKo/s640/blogger-image--1098033969.jpg" /></a></div>
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This area was his quite reading corner and has been turned into an exploration/play area! We moved the puzzle mats that were around the bed over to this area and connected them to make a big square. We still love cozy pillows in this corner too!</div>
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<b>READING CORNER</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh-t1L4Eut1E4CTkWF4k4Xy30LF-aAdttMGWBQxAtxQ95AfiQ754AYmHkC6ricH9RUjKUyMxPLURxoqdMGvvQT69HmYp4AlcipnSkHDYEzUp9xcKVnqLgZUWWtyA1fBVDhvCVkfMhqlos/s640/blogger-image--1066119264.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh-t1L4Eut1E4CTkWF4k4Xy30LF-aAdttMGWBQxAtxQ95AfiQ754AYmHkC6ricH9RUjKUyMxPLURxoqdMGvvQT69HmYp4AlcipnSkHDYEzUp9xcKVnqLgZUWWtyA1fBVDhvCVkfMhqlos/s640/blogger-image--1066119264.jpg" /></a></div>
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This area use to be a place Henry could read books in our laps or cuddle and rock as we sang songs. He soon learned to climb up on that rocker by himself! So for safety reasons, and wanting to keep things developmentally appropriate, we changed it to his own little read.ing area with a small toddler sized reading chair and his books right at his level. We also decorated with a poster from one of my very favorite children's books, "Where the Wild Things Are." He loves it!</div>
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We are so thankful that we found a bedroom layout and sleep time routine that works for our family. There are so many options out there! We love his floor bed and our cuddles goodnight, and so does our sweet toddler. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-38132396886871433162014-10-16T21:14:00.001-04:002014-10-16T21:14:17.290-04:00My 10 Baby Must Have's (and some we didn't need)As our first year with our first baby comes to an end I've been thinking about what baby items we really loved and used during those early months and through the year. These are of course what worked for us, and every family is different! What are some of YOUR top baby items?? Let me know in the comments!<br />
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<u><b>Here are our top 10 baby items:</b></u><br />
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<u>10. Empty water bottles</u> - If you already have a kid, you know these pieces of trash are GOLD! They are basically Henry's favorite toy. I even made a few sensory bottles with pipe cleaners and sand in them, but seriously just give your baby an empty water bottle and watch the fun happen! Who knew!?<br />
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<u>9. MAM pacifiers</u> - Henry had a strong need to suck from the get go, and with the go ahead form our lactation consultant we introduced pacifiers. We tried every single one, and Henry would ONLY take MAM's. I think they are super cute, and it's awesome that they are the same shape all around - doesn't matter if the baby accidentally puts it in their mouth upside down!<br />
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<u>8. A backpack diaper bag</u> - Any backpack would work, but we LOVE our backpack diaper bag. I need to use all the hands I can get, so with this on my back, my hands are free! We got the Eddie Bauer one which we like a lot - very durable with nice organized pockets.<br />
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<u>7. Aden and Anais muslin swaddle blankets</u> - I used these for EVERYTHING. Baby need a place to lay on the ground? Pull out a muslin blanket. Baby need swaddling? Pull out a muslin blanket. Baby just spit up everywhere? Pull out a muslin blanket. Love love love these.<br />
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<u>6. The jungle mat</u> - Any of the play mats are awesome! Henry loved to try and reach for the dangling toys, look at the twinkling lights, and listen to the music. This would entertain him forever!<br />
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<u>5. Scratch-me-not sleeves </u>- These saved our lives when Henry was going through his reactions to dairy and egg (before we pin pointed the problem). He would scratch his head and body all night long, and would rip off socks or mittens we tried putting on his hands. Seriously, if you have a child with eczema or an itching problem these are a MUST HAVE!<br />
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<u>4. Coconut Oil</u> - This is seriously THE BEST. Got dry skin? Chapped lips? Need a leave in conditioner? Baby scratched his face? Put coconut oil on it! Amazing. Jut google uses for coconut oil and you will be floored.<br />
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<u>3. A bouncy seat </u>- We used several (one in each room) and they were awesome for Henry. Even if you are a hippie dippy crunchy mama (which I sorta am) you've got to put the baby down sometimes! And this was a spot Henry could sit in for awhile and stay entertained! He loved to be in the reclined position that the seats offer so he could see everyone, and when he moved, it bounced so the movement helped soothe him.<br />
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<u>2. Rock'n' Play sleeper</u> - Henry slept in a rock'n'play sleeper for the first 3 months of his life. He had intense gas pains (which we now know was food allergy related) and being in a reclined position helped him feel some relief. I kept it right flush to the side of the bed. It was also nice because it's super light and portable, so I could pull it into any room I was in so he could lay down or nap next to me. This didn't work for much older than 3 months, but it was awesome!<br />
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<u>1. A baby carrier (specifically the ergo)</u> - My life saver. If I had to pick ONE baby item this is it. The ergo is perfect for keeping baby close while giving you free hands!! Throughout this year I have used the ergo almost every single day, especially during teething or any time Henry isn't feeling quite right and just wants to be held. He also naps in it (still!) a few times a week when I am nannying at different houses. I put him in the ergo, do what I need to with the other children and Henry falls asleep within 15 minutes. I can then just unbuckle the carrier and lay it and him down on the floor under some blankets and he naps happily right there!<br />
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<u>And a quick list of 5 items I thought I'd need (and bought) but were a waste of space (for us)!</u><br />
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1. A crib - Henry literally never slept in his crib! Thank God the crib we bought turns into a toddler bed!<br />
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2. A changing table - The bed is amazing, especially when you've got a wiggle worm.<br />
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3. A diaper genie - Seriously, just use your trashcan.<br />
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4. A nursing cover - Aint nobody got time for that! (especially Henry)<br />
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5. A wipe warmer -hahahahahahahUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-36635939072839118502014-10-03T21:47:00.002-04:002014-10-05T15:40:30.093-04:00Henry's Montessori BedroomAs parents, we are all doing what we can. We look at our families and our children and see what works. For our family a family bed is wonderful! Except at nap time.<br />
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My 11 month old is a busy babe. He was always active in the womb and has proven to be a mover here on the other side. He is a master crawler (started at 7 months) and walker (first steps just before 10 months) Watch out world, Henry is coming for you!<br />
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This was making unsupervised sleep times (naps) a challenge! Henry has always been a light sleeper and wakes often, and now that he is mobile he will INSTANTLY shoot up and crawl or walk - and fast! I use to just cuddle him to sleep for naps in our bed and then put up a barrier of blankets and pillows around him in case he rolled. But but I was increasingly worried that he might fall off the bed. Even though we have a video monitor, I would run into the room as soon as he woke up. We needed a new strategy.<br />
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I sought some opinions from other parents and evaluated our priorities (moving our mattress to the floor is non negotiable for my husband who has back pain, and this kid would scale any railings we could put up)....and I was getting discouraged until I heard about an option for a Montessori style bed and bedroom.<br />
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<b><u>What is a Montessori Style Bedroom</u></b><br />
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You may have heard of the Montessori education philosophy and school<span style="font-family: inherit;">s of the same name. Although primarily an education model, these principles can be taken into the home as well. A Montessori model of education sees <span style="background-color: #fdfdfd; color: #333333; line-height: 20px;">the child as a unique individual who is intelligent, curious and competent - t</span><span style="background-color: #fdfdfd; color: #333333; line-height: 20px;">eaching the child how to be independent, self-sufficient and allowing them to work in a meaningful way. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #fdfdfd; color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">A Montessori style bedroom would follow that same philosophy. The bed room is styled in a way that is child safe, child sized, and child-centric. Everything the child would need is at their level, </span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">including the art hung on the walls. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Some things commonly found in a Montessori room include:</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;">- A bed on the floor for easy and safe access in and out of the bed</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;">- Mirror for child to see themselves</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;">- Decorations and art hung at child's level</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;">- Toys and books at child's level in neat and organized places</span></span><br />
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<b><u>Why This Style is Perfect For Our Baby</u></b><br />
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We needed a bed that was low to ground, that Henry could get in and out of on his own. Henry is also a very sensitive sleeper. If we try to lay him down in a crib after getting him to sleep, the motion will wake him up and then it's over. Once he's up he's done sleeping. With the Montessori style bed, we can cuddle him to sleep laying right next to him, and just scoot away when he falls asleep! (Note that there is a pillow on his bed in the pictures below - that is for us while we cuddle him and when he is asleep we move it away for a safer sleeping environment)<br />
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The Montessori style set up for the rest of the room is wonderful for my active and very independent boy. He knows just where all his toys and books are and can get them all by himself.<br />
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<b><u>Our Set Up</u></b><br />
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Henry moves quite a bit in his sleep, so we decided to use a full sized futon mattress on the floor (as opposed to just the crib mattress), and put large foam puzzle pieces around the perimeter as an extra precaution since we have hardwood floors. Since Henry was about 7 months old I have taught him to turn around and go feet first when going off of a "high" place, so he has absolutely no trouble getting in and out of this bed. We are working on not walking and running while on the bed, but he's stubborn!<br />
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After seeing so many pictures of Montessori rooms including a mirror by the bed - and after snagging this one for free from a neighbor who was moving - we decided to give it a try! Henry loves it!<br />
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We also set up a quite reading area with comfy pillows and a rug that our dear friend Katie made for Henry when he was born. We decided to leave our rocker in the room so Wes has a place to sit and read with him too. Next to the rocker is a smaller bookshelf at his level with three baskets. One basket has soft stuffed animals and "loves", another has a few toys he enjoys, and the last has a few board books. They are at his level and all the things have a proper place.<br />
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We also have a larger bookcase to prop the monitor on top of. Henry likes to pull wires so we needed a safe place for it to be! The top shelf has hats and socks and bibs, the middle shelf holds the rest of his books, and the last houses a few more toys.<br />
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We decorated the room with a set of woodland creature drawings I made for Henry in the quiet area, a banner with his name on it above the bed that was made for him at my baby shower, a Van Gogh print, and a few things to remind him of California :)<br />
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<b><u>How It's Working For Us and Where We Go From Here</u></b><br />
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This room is AWESOME. Henry loves to play in his room and has taken all his naps in the bed beautifully. And I don't run as soon as he wakes anymore because I know he is safe and happy! We started with only napping in his bedroom, and now we have decided at bedtime to start him out in his room, and bring him into the family bed when he wakes up in the middle of the night where he spends the rest of the night with us. All of us still really enjoy the family bed at this point! We will slowly decrease the time in the family bed when we feel that he is ready. We've been doing this routine for naps and at night for a couple of months now and it's working perfectly for us! Henry has also gained so much confidence at bed time - several times this week rolling away from us and falling asleep on his own. I am so happy to see this style of bedroom be so positive for Henry and his particular needs surrounding sleep :)<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-14642767494345898082014-06-23T07:26:00.000-04:002014-06-23T07:28:46.047-04:00Because I'm Happy<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;">"We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do."</span><span style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;">"Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love."</span></i><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;"><i>“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”</i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;"><i>- Mother Teresa </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">My 8-month-old son can't do much right now, but there is one thing he does better than anyone I've ever known - this boy can </span><u style="font-family: inherit;">SMILE</u><span style="font-family: inherit;">. If Henry had a theme song it would most </span>definitely<span style="font-family: inherit;"> be "Happy" by Pharrell Williams. Henry's love is contagious and infectious. He is so small, but his joy is so big.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yesterday our church participated in a service project where we were sent in groups to do different things - serve in a soup kitche<span style="font-family: inherit;">n,</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">install new carpeting at a local school, and pack school bags to be sent to children in need</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">. Wes, baby Henry, and I were asked to go with a group of people to sing hymns at a local assisted living center. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Henry has a thing for old people. One could argue that Henry loves </span><i style="font-family: inherit;">everyone</i><span style="font-family: inherit;">, but we've noticed he has a special love for those older and wiser ones among us - and they love him something fierce right back. So hearing about the opportunity to serve at an assisted living facility seemed great for Henry! But to be honest, I wasn't looking forward to it. Old people have always kind of scared me. They are fragile. And they can't hear you. And what are you suppose to talk about? And sometimes old people are mean! But this wasn't about me. This was about Henry.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As soon as he walked through the door he put on that Henry charm! As we sang, he distracted several older patients with his smiles, and they were delighted. My eyes welled up with tears at one point as he literally lit up the room. People who looked so sad a moment ago could gaze at my boy and feel joy. People wanted to touch him and talk to him...he made them feel alive. It was worth my discomfort to see their smiles. Needless to say, I have a feeling we will be taking him back to visit again. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #181818;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">My sweet baby is already an </span></span><span style="line-height: 18px;">inspiration</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"> to me. He reminds me of the important things in this world (and the important people). All we really need is to be present with one another. </span></span></span></span><span style="color: #181818; line-height: 18px;">That is the beauty of grace and love. We don't have to do anything - we just have to be willing to BE with each other. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #181818;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><i>I want my son to always know that before he could do anything else - before his words or any other kind of action - his smiled changes lives. Some day when he has nothing to say and doesn't know what to do, I want him to remember that he can smile, and maybe that's all he needs to do. </i></span></span></span></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-608722532331648952014-05-20T16:51:00.000-04:002014-06-28T22:54:25.907-04:00Being Kinda CrunchyIf you've never heard the term "crunchy" in relation to parenting/birth (like I hadn't before a couple of years ago) let me give you some context before you keep reading.<br />
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"Crunchy" or "Granola" are ways people identify a certain type of lifestyle/parenting style. It's very natural, holistic, and often child led. Check out this website for a general overview of what a crunchy parent might look like from the blog "<a href="http://www.pistachioproject.com/2011/07/crunchy-defined-what-is-crunchy.html" target="_blank">Pistachio Project</a>".<br />
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I definitely identify with this crunchy lifestyle, but...I'm not all the way crunchy. I'm just kinda crunchy. I pick and chose what works best for us. But being only kinda crunchy sometimes makes it hard to feel like you fit. I'm not one extreme or the other, so I can get flack on both sides for not being enough like them.<br />
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I honestly believe that each family is so unique. We as parents and people are vastly different, and you're also throwing in a baby who is also beautifully different than any other baby. No one set of philosophies will work for your special family. The most important thing about finding a parenting style or choice for your family, is to INCLUDE THE WHOLE FAMILY! Look at the needs of every one in the family, and listen to the thoughts of your partner. It was crucial for me to include Wes in our decision making so we all felt comfortable with what was happening.<br />
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Here's a list of where I'm crunchy, and where I'm not. Every family has to choose what works for them, and here's why we choose the things we do. (And as a note, all of these are fluid. As parenting should be!)<br />
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<b>My Crunchy Side:</b><br />
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<u>I Exclusively Breastfeed</u><br />
We exclusively breastfeed and feed on demand. Henry has always been quite good at letting us know when he is hungry, and now at 6 months is even starting to sign "milk" to us! (I'm one proud mama!) We choose to listen to the one whose tummy is telling him he needs more milk, not to a set schedule. We will also nurse as long as both mama and baby are happy doing it. When one or both of us are done, we will end it. We may extend breastmilk (even if it's in a sippy cup and not in the form of actual nursing) longer than maybe what is the "norm" (that seems to be the 1 year mark) because of Henry's dairy allergy too. I feel SO BLESSED that I only need my husband to watch our baby for 5 of my 30 hours of work a week (two days split into 2.5 hours - the rest of time I get to take Henry with me!) so he doesn't even need a bottle! I just nurse right before I leave, and nurse again when I get back! I don't even remember the last time Henry had a bottle....<br />
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<u>I love Babywearing</u><br />
I wear the heck outta this baby!! It is a godsend for him and I, as I get to take him to work with me as a nanny. He naps about 3-4 times a week right there in my ergo. It makes walks fun, and keeps him close to me if we are out and about. Did you also know that babies who are worn don't need to have as much tummy time? Henry has always had excellent neck strength and I credit the ergo carrier!<br />
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<u>We Have a Family Bed</u><br />
I wasn't planning on a family bed before our sweet one was born but for us, right now, it just makes sense. Henry has dealt with so many allergic reactions as we were trying to find out what he was allergic to, that he wakes up very very often in the night with pain from itchy skin or painful gas - and that's on top of still nursing every 2 hours. It made sense to keep him as close as possible to comfort him - and I love it! (And so does he! He's a very social people person, so he enjoys that close touch) We will slowly and gently transition him into his own crib when the time is right, but for now we all safely co-sleep together.<br />
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<u>I Chose to Have an Unmedicated Birth and Use Midwives</u><br />
I wanted to try and have a natural unmedicated birth, and in the end, that's what I got. And I do want to note that I left it open to mine and my midwife's discretion to suggest an epidural if we felt it was appropriate, and if I hadn't been 10 cm and ready to push when I got to the hospital I <i>may </i>have had one (it was tempting, guys). We chose to deliver at the local hospital with a midwife, which before getting pregnant I would have never even thought about doing! But I am so SO SO thankful to have used our midwife group. They were so gentle yet strong, and caring and such advocates! I am so glad I was able to have my son unmedicated and would do it a million times over. It changed me in ways I have no words for.<br />
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<b>My Not-So-Crunchy Side:</b><br />
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<u>We Use Disposable Diapers</u><br />
I thought about cloth diapers, and even acquired some free used ones from a friend, but in the end after talking it over with my husband, it just made sense in our family to use disposables. I can barely keep up housework at all and I just knew with my personality those dirty cloth diapers would be sitting in that wet bag for weeks....and that's just gross :)<br />
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<u>I Don't Make My Own Baby Food (yet?)</u><br />
I am extremely awesome at being a mom, okay? But there is literally no one worse than me at being domestic. I can barely microwave food without messing it up. Wes is the cook in our family (Thank God I found you!!) and for now I'm not interested in making our own pureed baby food, (except for banana and avocado, cause even <i>I</i> can do that one). I may change my mind on this later (because I was given a baby food maker recently), but for now we get Earth's Best organic baby food and that's good enough for us :)<br />
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<u>We Vaccinate on Schedule</u><br />
I know this can be a controversial conversation, but we feel it is important to vaccinate on schedule with the national recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics and felt that it was best for our family based on research we did. We will though be having a conversation at our next appointment to see if any of the vaccines have egg in them, as that is Henry's biggest allergy, and see if that will be an issue. (I didn't even know that some<a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/egg-allergy/basics/prevention/con-20032721" target="_blank"> vaccines had egg in them</a> until I found out about Henry's allergy!!)<br />
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So it was fitting that the week I found out I was pregnant, it was communion Sunday. I was filled with emotion as I received that communion. The body and blood of Christ, this very special eucharist meal, was nourishing this body - my body. It was giving me life, and in turn, it was being passed to my child. I see communion in very physical terms. It is deeply spiritual, but it is also physical for me. So as my body ingested communion that day, I cried, knowing that as this food literally sustains me, it helps my body grow this precious life. I was able to pass that beautiful gift of communion onto my son before he even left my body. I continued to receive communion throughout my pregnancy and it was a cherished time for me. </div>
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Last Sunday was the first Sunday Henry was outside of my womb and in Church on a communion Sunday. I held him close. This moment was special to me. I knew it was special for my husband as well, and he asked to hold him as we walked up to receive the sacraments, but I selfishly shook my head. "I want him this time." I whispered. He can hold him during communion any other time, but this first one - this one is special for me. It was the first time he was really here with us, receiving communion as a family. We had shared that together, just the two of us, for so long and now he would get to expeiece it with the Church. We walked up and after I received each element, the pastor put her hand on my sweet baby's head and said "Henry, this is the body of Christ broken for you," and the intern next to her proclaimed "Henry, this is the blood of Christ shed for you." It was a beautiful moment I will always hold dear to my heart.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-79359533592638952642014-01-02T19:19:00.000-05:002015-11-15T22:09:41.698-05:00Moments<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Last year I participated in One Word 365 in picking one word for the year. Last year my word was <a href="http://simplygrand.blogspot.com/2013/02/be-generous.html" target="_blank">"Generous"</a>. <span style="background-color: white; color: #323232; line-height: 18px;">Their </span><a href="http://www.oneword365.com/" style="background-color: white; color: #7c4417; line-height: 18px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">website</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #323232; line-height: 18px;"> (oneword365.com) says it best:</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #323232; line-height: 18px;">"Forget New Year’s Resolutions. Scrap that long list of goals you won’t remember three weeks from now anyway. Choose just one word. </span><strong style="background-color: white; color: #323232; line-height: 18px;">One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live. One word that you can focus on every day, all year long.</strong><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #323232; line-height: 18px;">It will take intentionality and commitment, but if you let it, your word will shape you and your year. It will </span><nobr style="background-color: white; color: #323232; line-height: 18px;">guide</nobr><span style="background-color: white; color: #323232; line-height: 18px;"> your decisions and help you grow. Discover the big impact one word can make. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #323232; line-height: 18px;">One word. 365 days. A changed life."</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #323232;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">The last few months of last year, as my sweet son has come into our lives, I have been bombarded with the word "moment". Live in the moment. Cherish this moment. This moment won't last forever. Last year it took a while for me to pick my "one word" but this year the word seemed to pick me. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #323232;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">My sweet baby boy is now almost 10 weeks old as I write this. In those first few weeks of his life I was utterly exhausted (No surprise right? Sleep deprivation is the inevitable christening of parenthood). Those midnight feedings...oh God...they were hell to me. Saying that I love sleeping is an understatement. I freaking LOVE to sleep. I use to tell people I'd be totally happy if I could sleep all the time and just dream about the real world. My bed was my happy place. I love sleep. And my son had other plans. Henry nursed every single hour for the first 3 weeks of his life. And the next few weeks it was every hour and a half. And then every 2 hours, and finally at almost 10 weeks old, he has stretched his feedings out to every 3 hours. If you would have told me a year ago that I would REJOICE over only having to wake up every 3 hours I would have laughed at you. I knew a new baby would wake up to fed at night...but...I had no idea it was like THIS. I am beyond elated right now that (for now) my son wakes up at 12:30, 3:30 and 6:30. But this is not what I want to write about.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #323232;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">In those early days of nursing every hour, I was angry. I was angry at my baby. I was so desperate for sleep that after feeding at 1:00am, when 2:00 would roll around and he would be screaming, I would get so close to his face and I would shush and shush and shush and say "Please go to sleep, please go to sleep. I just want to sleep" over and over. Wes would often "rescue" me and without a word, just take him out of my arms and leave the room. <b>Motherhood is hard</b>. Sometimes we do things and think things we wish we didn't. <b>And I am sad that I wasted so much time trying to shush my boy. </b></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #323232;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I have followed Megan Tietz over at <a href="http://www.sortacrunchy.net/" target="_blank">SortaCrunchy</a> for several years now, and picked up her book "Spirit-Led Parenting" when I found out I was pregnant. During those tough first weeks I opened up her book and read the chapter on sleep. The words that Megan and co-author Laura wrote spoke straight to my heart.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"In truth, our roles as parents do not end in late evening and pick up again when the sun rises. The way we parent our children at night is just as crucial to their development as the way we parent in the day time hours." </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"...could I possibly conceive of the idea that these <b>moments</b> alone in the dark and quiet at night were <i>a gift from [God]</i>?...Rather than viewing these little interruptions at night as exhausting drudgery and empty sacrifice, perhaps I could use them as pockets of solitude and prayer and scripture meditation...The nights that once held heartache now held the promise of peace and the comfort of communion with [God]." </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"...these new baby days (and nights) do not last forever, and there is more rest just around the corner... and there is a part of you that will someday miss sitting in your cozy recliner in the nighttime stillness with a baby snuggled up in your arms...you may find yourself drawing your little one just a bit closer to you in that big chair, thanking God for the gift of that <b>moment</b>."</span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #323232;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I began to challenge myself in those awful midnight feedings. Instead of dreading them - being on Facebook while I nursed my baby, trying to pass the time quickly, <b>I began to stop and pray</b>. Staring at his sweet face, noticing that his eyelashes are growing. Seeing a milk-drunk sleep smile as he unlatches. </span></span><span style="color: #323232; line-height: 18px;">Thanking God for this beautiful boy, thanking God for this moment that I have with him. </span><span style="color: #323232; line-height: 18px;"><b>I will never have this moment, right here, ever again.</b> In this little routine of midnight feedings, with just one small change in my thinking, I have actually begun to enjoy these times. </span><span style="color: #323232; line-height: 18px;"><b>And so now those moments I use to hate have become moments I love and hold dear to my heart. </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #323232;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I have a song that I sing to Henry almost every day. It's a song from the 70's that my sister found when I was </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #323232;">pregnant. "This song is for Henry!" she told me as she showed me this video. And it is. The words are simple and sweet:</span><b> "I</b></span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 23px;">f I had words to make a day for you, I'd sing you a morning golden and new. </span><span style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 23px;">I would make this day last for all time</span><span style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 23px;">, g</span><span style="line-height: 23px;"><b>ive you a night deep in moonshine" </b>The whole song repeats this refrain. I've been singing this song to him since before he was born, and it is the perfect reminder to me to cherish these moments. </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klCvrpy8LwU" target="_blank">Click here to listen to the song.</a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">Warning: this song is epically 70's. I sing it to him in a much more acoustic and folksy way ;)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #323232; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span style="color: #323232; line-height: 18px;">So for this year I want to focus on the moments</span><span style="color: #323232; line-height: 18px;">. Not only to be present in the sweet and easy day time moments but to cherish the ones I don't even yet realize are moments I won't want to forget (like the way he may wake up crying, but I'm the one who knows exactly how to </span><span style="color: #323232;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">comfort my child and make him feel so loved). </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #323232;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">So my one word is MOMENTS. And I don't want to miss a single one. </span></span></b></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Henry after nursing in the middle of the night.</span></td></tr>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-10434363637661211842013-12-03T18:41:00.001-05:002014-01-12T15:18:19.705-05:00Henry Wayne - Our Birth StoryThis is my birth story. A sacred journey. A hard and laborious journey. A joyous journey. Our story.<br />
<br />
To start at the beginning, we had decided pretty early on in the pregnancy to use midwives and have the baby at the Princeton/Plainsboro hospital. Throughout the pregnancy and going to our prenatal visits and birthing classes, we fell in love with our midwife group. They were 4 wonderful women whose only goal was to care for you and empower you to do whatever you wanted to and to help educate you in those decisions. They were all so warm and caring and made us both feel so comfortable.<br />
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I was pretty flexible in what I wanted for the labor and delivery: I knew I wanted to try to have the baby unmedicated, but I was also not opposed to an epidural if I felt I needed one. For that reason, Wes and I discussed creating a code word, that only he and I knew, that meant "I'm not joking around, I want an epidural." and we asked in our written birth plan that no nurses offer it to me - I would let them know if I wanted one. Our code word was "Barry Bonds" cause…you know…he cheated by taking steroids… ;)<br />
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I went to sleep friday night Oct. 25th smiling at Wes. I said to him "Our baby is coming soon!" (as I had lost the mucus plug 2 days earlier) but I had no idea it would be early that next morning. A few nights before I went into labor I remember pondering the impending birth. I felt an incredible sense of peace and calmness about labor and delivery. "Maybe I'm just naive," I kept telling Wes "But I don't feel scared or nervous about this. I just feel so much peace around me."<br />
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At 3:00am I woke to my water breaking. I rushed to the bathroom and yelled "Wes! I'm pretty sure my water just broke!!" "It did?!" He said half asleep. I got our midwife group on the phone and Ursula was on call at that time. "Do you have contractions?" she asked. "Not yet." "Well, try to get a few hours of sleep and call back when your contractions start. You need your energy!"<br />
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I got about an hour of sleep before my contractions started at 4:00am. They were very mild at that point so I nudged Wes "Hey…my contractions started…but go back to sleep." (I knew I needed him to have energy to help me when they started getting difficult.) I rested but timed my contractions for 2 hours before waking Wes up. At that point the contractions were still very manageable but I needed help timing them. They were roughly 8 minutes a part lasting for 45 seconds and as the time went on became very inconsistent. 5 minutes a part, 8 minutes a part, 10 minutes a part, 6…ect. We were told by our midwives throughout the pregnancy to wait until the contractions were 5 minutes a part lasting for a minute for 2 hours before coming into the hospital - they are big advocates that you are most comfortable in your home so to stay there as long as possible if you want a natural birth.<br />
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Soon after my 6:00am contractions, I tried laboring in different rooms and in different positions but eventually found my sweet spot: I labored a good 8 hours in our master bathroom. I stacked all our pillows up and leaned over it with my arms crossed to lay my head on, and was on my knees. We called it my "birthing fort".<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6X8ycibIynNjqeIQyVbZm2udyy4sW6whHqY8OiZerovjXBWBjZ-_7xU__0ahoYVkqvQ-2BF6XyOofYfcHVLg9Y_Z-QyYXzlraxVa43YoBCszpnvBDHy-cs_kgah97V5QZkyUtkK-5CHQ/s1600/birthfort.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6X8ycibIynNjqeIQyVbZm2udyy4sW6whHqY8OiZerovjXBWBjZ-_7xU__0ahoYVkqvQ-2BF6XyOofYfcHVLg9Y_Z-QyYXzlraxVa43YoBCszpnvBDHy-cs_kgah97V5QZkyUtkK-5CHQ/s320/birthfort.jpg" height="320" width="305" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Birthing Fort</td></tr>
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At each contraction, I swayed back and forth and instinctually made tonal sounds to get through the contractions (Wes said later that he considered recording the sounds because he said "they sounded pretty" and later, after my boy was born, I whispered to him "I sang you out") with each contraction getting stronger I would tell myself that each one would bring me closer to my baby. It was actually quite amazing, because at times I could actually feel my baby wiggle and move into position. We were doing this together. It is such a beautiful miracle that my body and my baby know what to do. I just had to trust both.<br />
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Wes was a phenomenal partner for me during labor, and I have never felt closer to him. He would sweetly guide me through each contraction. At this point from about 10:30am - 12:00pm the contractions were 5 minutes a part lasting for a minute so he knew as he was keeping track of them what the time frame would be. He would gently tell me at the 30 second mark "Okay, you are half way done, you can do this," and as it neared the minute mark he would say "You are almost done. Do you feel it trailing off? It's fading away now…" Our rhythm and routine of getting through these contractions made it easy to cope, even though the pain was increasing. Around 12:00pm the contractions started to become inconsistent again ranging from 3 minutes a part to 8 minutes a part but mostly 5 minutes a part so I had Wes call our midwife (Carolyn was now the midwife on call) and told her the timing of the contractions and that we were thinking about heading to the hospital because the pain was increasing to where it was almost unbearable. "Well…" she said "If your goal is an unmedicated birth I'd really like her to stay there longer…until they are 3 minutes a part consistently. Why don't you try getting into your bath and see if that helps."<br />
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I had heard over and over again that for the first birth, you should expect to labor for 24 hours, and I had known several recent births that went 30+ hours. I kept thinking to myself "If I get to the hospital and I am only a few centimeters dilated, I really want an epidural" if only for endurance sake. I was coping well, but at that point I had only been in labor for 9 hours. I couldn't imagine twice or three times as long.<br />
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I wasn't particularly happy about hearing that she wanted me to stay home longer, as the pain was increasing, but Wes drew me a bath as I worked through a few more contractions. I got into the tub and after a few minutes the next contraction came…and I NEEDED TO PUSH. I actually had to stop my body from pushing because it instinctually starting bearing down. "Uhhh Wes…I think I have to push." Wide eyed he said "DON'T DO THAT!" I had another contraction with same feeling of needing to push. Wes called the midwife and told her about my urge to push. "Why don't you just come on down then." she said. As I started to get out of the bath I said our code word. "Wes, I'm Barry Bondsing it right now. If she checks me and I'm only 4 centimeters, I want an epidural." "Ok…" Wes said. Though he says now he didn't believe me. I had labored through contractions for 9 hours peacefully at home, and we were now headed off to the hospital.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah…Barry Bonds….</td></tr>
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At 1:00pm we arrived. After some difficulties getting registered in at the hospital, finally at 1:30pm my midwife arrived. She had me lay on the hospital bed to check my dilation. "Amanda..." she said, "You are fully dilated" My eyes got big. "I am?!" "Yep, you are 10cm, station 2 and I feel your baby. You don't have to breathe through your contractions anymore. You can push any time you want." I was able to push when I wanted, as many times as my body felt like it needed to, and hold it as long as my body wanted to. The midwife trusted my body, and so did I.<br />
<br />
Carolyn, our midwife, was so wonderful! Her words were so encouraging, telling me that each push was moving my baby closer. She would shout "beautiful!" at my pushes, and it made me feel like I was so powerful!<br />
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My baby and I worked together, and I pushed for an hour before my sweet boy was born at 2:48pm. 11 hours after my contractions started. They put him immediately on me, skin to skin. I had my eyes closed as I pushed that last push, so for a minute after they laid him on me I still had them closed, just feeling him in my arms. I opened them and saw those sweet eyes looking up at me. "Hi, baby." I whispered to him over and over again. I also kept looking at Wes and saying "I did it!" it utter disbelief. Henry barely cried when he came out, he really just grunted and whimpered, which he still does now at 5 week old. I was able to have Henry on my chest for 45 minutes, and many of the newborn procedures were done while I held him.<br />
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My birth was such a beautiful experience. I knew I <i>wanted</i> to try to have him naturally, but in the back of my head I was never sure of myself. But I did it. We did it. All three of us. My birth has changed me in ways I still can't articulate. I felt empowered and confident. I was able to let go of the fear of child birth, and see that it is the best pain I could ever go through. It was perfect. And it was the best day of my life.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sweet boy</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Henry Wayne Ellis 7lbs 10oz 19.75in</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The day we were released from the hospital</td></tr>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-23374815191899571102013-07-24T17:45:00.002-04:002014-01-12T15:18:51.816-05:00My ChildIf you don't already know,. I am pregnant. And being pregnant, for me, is one of the best things I've ever been able to experience. As hard as pregnancy can be (and mine has had some rough patches so far) there is more joy and wonder than anything. And I would endure it forever for this baby.<br />
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I asked a friend of mine who was over due at the time, what it was like. "It's like waiting to see the face of your best friend." And being 25 weeks pregnant, I feel the same. This child has become a part of me. He is a friend I have yet to meet. I don't know anything about him, but I love him more than I have loved anything in this world. How can that even happen?! I have never seen him, and yet I would give my life for him.<br />
<br />
My child,<br />
I love you.<br />
Before you have done anything.<br />
Before your ups and downs<br />
and before mine.<br />
I love you. <br />
Nothing could ever take it away,<br />
because it was here before you even began.<br />
I love you, <br />
My child. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-91137950808390854892013-02-04T09:16:00.002-05:002013-02-04T09:16:57.853-05:00Be GenerousLast year I followed Megan over at <a href="http://www.sortacrunchy.net/sortacrunchy/2013/01/one-word-for-2013-serve.html" target="_blank">SortaCrunchy</a> pick "one word" to guide her year instead of a traditional new years resolution. She is doing it again this year with the word <a href="http://www.sortacrunchy.net/sortacrunchy/2013/01/one-word-for-2013-serve.html" target="_blank">"serve"</a>, and so is my friend Alyssa over at <a href="http://www.allthingsbeautifulblog.com/2013/01/one-word-for-2013.html#.UQ0k-Gf4KSo" target="_blank">All Things Beautiful</a> picking the word <a href="http://www.allthingsbeautifulblog.com/2013/01/one-word-for-2013.html#.UQ0k-Gf4KSo" target="_blank">"seek"</a>.<br />
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If you haven't heard of picking a word for 2013 but want to, you still have time! It's actually something that quite a few people are doing. And by now you might have given up on those resolutions you made a month ago anyway, so join with me! It's a wonderful way to focus on one positive thing you want to be this year. Their <a href="http://www.oneword365.com/" target="_blank">website</a> (oneword365.com) says it best:<br />
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"Forget New Year’s Resolutions. Scrap that long list of goals you won’t remember three weeks from now anyway. Choose just one word. <strong>One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live. One word that you can focus on every day, all year long.</strong><br />
It will take intentionality and commitment, but if you let it, your word will shape you and your year. It will <nobr>guide</nobr> your decisions and help you grow. Discover the big impact one word can make.<br />
One word. 365 days. A changed life."<br />
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Now look, I know it's February, but I spent most of December and January thinking about what word I wanted to use and nothing felt right! Then all of the sudden it came like a gentle whisper: "Be generous".<br />
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I desperately want to be more generous, but it's going to have to be a conscious decision each day. I know this is a problem area for me, as I hold so tightly to money. Money sucks, okay?! It comes with anxiety and depression. People often judge you on how you spend your money. I KNOW it's hard for me, and I tend to beat myself up saying "Stop being so controlling." and "Stop being so consumed with money." But I think I need to stop telling myself what NOT to do, and start saying the positive: "Be generous". <b>It's so much more freeing to see the beauty of what can be, rather than the ugly of what has been done.</b><br />
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I just don't want money to rule me anymore. <b>I want to see a need and feel freedom in faith that if I meet the need of someone else, I will still be taken care of too.</b> I guess that's what it comes down to. I'm afraid I won't be taken care of. I've put my own well being over someone else, without faith that God won't let me fall.<br />
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<b>What would my life look like if I just stopped being so afraid?</b><br />
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I'm not saying be frivolous with money. No, we still need to be responsible adults! But what would it look like if we started actually budgeting and allowed a "generous" fund? Putting aside a fraction a month and seeing where it takes us.<br />
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Now, when I say I want to be generous, I'm not just talking monetarily, but that's a big one for me. <b>I want to be generous by being intentional.</b> Being generous with my time when I notice my neighbor is having a bad day and just needs to talk. Generous with my food, by making a meal for a friend whose having a hard week. I just want to have a giving heart. An open heart. A seeking heart.<br />
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I use to pray a prayer almost every day in high school that went like this:<br />
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"Open my eyes, my ears and my heart to the needs of those around me, and may I meet those needs as best as I can. "<br />
<br />
What if I started praying this again each day when I woke up? Would it change the way I saw the events of my day? Probably! I can't see how it would make it worse. <b>When we center ourselves each day and point ourselves in a certain direction, it will subconsciously guide us.</b> Our hearts will be more aware of the opportunities to carry out what we want to do and be.<br />
<br />
Trust me, this is not easy! I've literally had to say to myself "Be more generous" in situations where I would normally clutch tightly to my wallet or my watch. But I want to try. I want to try to be generous this year. Will you join me in this journey?<br />
<br />
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<br />
<b><u>Going Forward</u></b><br />
<br />
1) Pray the "needs" prayer when I wake up in the morning. "Open my eyes, my ears and my heart to the needs of those around me, and may I meet those needs as best as I can. "<br />
<br />
2) Write the word "generous" all over my house! As many reminders as possible (Mirror, fridge, door).<br />
<br />
3) Start budgeting in envelopes, Dave Ramsey style, and have an envelope titled "be generous."<br />
<br />
4) Listen to the prayer requests at church each Sunday and pick one that I feel drawn to and imagine how it would look to be generous in that situation.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-23876096914494178042013-01-15T18:58:00.000-05:002013-01-15T18:58:13.712-05:00Getting Involved With Church MinistryWe just starting attending a church here in New Jersey a couple of months ago. We had tried several churches since we moved here in August, but they just didn't feel right. We would leave each church saying "Eh...that was good, but something is missing." They weren't bad churches, in fact many were wonderful, thriving churches! But we just kept feeling like there was somewhere else we needed to try. That is until we set foot in Kingston United Methodist Church. The style of liturgy reminded us of home, and there was such a welcoming atmosphere. After the service we both looked at each other in the car and said "Alight. That was really great!" We decided that day to visit KUMC every other week and try a new church in between, but that didn't happen because the second time we visited I knew I didn't want to miss another Sunday. <br />
<br />
(As a side note let me just say this: I sound a bit giddy about this church, and I do have wonderful things to say about it, but look, no church is perfect and neither is this one. But the difference is that this is a church we want to struggle alongside with.)<br />
<br />
We attended regularly for a couple of months and then quickly started getting involved. We both joined the Christmas Choir, read scripture and I was recruited to help with an alternative gift project for the holiday season. As soon as we began to volunteer, we started feeling more and more "at home". <b>We started making connections with people - the same people we had been quietly sitting alongside during that one hour on Sunday morning.</b> I started to know their names and their hearts. Getting involved helps foster community with people you wouldn't normally be around. <br />
<br />
I want to write about this because it is deeply important for me to see people get involved with a church they like, ASAP. I'm pretty passionate about it. Once you've reached that point where you've gone several times and you KNOW that this is where you want to be - DO SOMETHING. I say this because I've personally been involved in ministry at every church I've been at. I see the difference it makes in my life and in the lives of those around me when we reach outside that comfort zone for just a moment, to find our place in the church, bringing God's kingdom close like a kiss. <br />
<br />
Of course you can also do wonderful work outside a church community, <b>but there is something so special about sharing life and passions with those you are sharing a space with every week</b>. Becoming involved with the ministries of the church can keep us from being church "consumers". It can help us see that yes, going on Sunday can be nourishing to the soul...but what if it isn't all that nourishing one week. What if it's really boring!? What if the music sucks?! When you have allowed yourself to become a part of something bigger than yourself, you will begin to see the church less as something to obtain or to consume, but more as a place where you are challenged and encouraged to reach outward. It feels good to be a part of something bigger than yourself.<br />
<br />
There are SO MANY ways to be a part of a church. Generally the "bigger" ministries are listed on a bulletin each week, or on the church website (usually these include children's, youth, young adult, adult and choir ministries). But these are not the only ways to get involved! Whatever your passion is, THERE IS A PLACE FOR YOU. Getting involved with a ministry can help you find and strengthen those passions. As I started to volunteer at KUMC, the pastor came up to me and thanked me, saying that the skills and talents I had were not his. I was able to bless the church in a unique way. Being a part of the church has made me feel good to be me - the <i>me</i> that I was created to be. It has made me feel confident and caring, loving and kind. You need to know this: you are valuable to the church.<b> Whatever your passion is, however you are being intrinsically <i>you</i>, is needed.</b> It's a place you can be exactly who you are and a place you SHOULD be exactly who you are.<br />
<br />
That is the bottom line - this is why you should get involved: we need you. Not for free volunteer labor, but we need YOU. Everything you are. Your passions are unique, your talents, everything you are, good and bad, are exactly what is missing in our ministries. You are precious. You are valuable. You are beautiful. You are loved. <b>Our lives are missing something valuable when you are not sharing life and love with us.</b><br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
<b>Going Forward:</b><br />
<br />
- Talk to your pastor to see what ministries are available at your church. Take time to pray over them and see where you feel most lead. <br />
<br />
- If you aren't sure of your passions, try taking a strengths test. If you enjoy personality tests as much as I do, this is just a fun way to see what your gifts might be! (Note that none of these will outright tell you that you should volunteer in youth ministry, or with the choir, or behind the scenes doing office work. It's just a guide to see your strengths from a different perspective)<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="http://richardstep.com/richardstep-strengths-weaknesses-aptitude-test/" target="_blank">This link here</a> is for a general strengths aptitude test. For example, my results were "Optimism", "Faith" and "Focus".</li>
<li><a href="http://www.spiritualgiftstest.com/" target="_blank">This link here</a> is for a spiritual gifts test. (It says "take our test for free" in the grey box in the left corner) For example, my results were "Mercy", "Faith" and "Discernment".</li>
<li><a href="http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_is_your_spiritual_gift" target="_blank">This link here</a> is geared more towards teenagers and is very short and a bit more narrowed in the questions. My results were "Encouragement", "Giving" and "Hospitality".</li>
</ul>
- Dream big! All passions can be used in the church, even if they seem small. Take a look at your passions for art, crafts, sewing, finance, cooking, board games, reading, writing, music, or dance - and dream about how they can by used to bring God's Kingdom to earth.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-67963148697205400982013-01-06T22:51:00.000-05:002013-01-06T23:02:52.958-05:00A Look At 201212 highlights of 2012!<br />
<br />
<b>1. New Years Resolution:</b><br />
This isn't a highlight of 2012, but I feel the need to get this out in writing! One of my goals this year is to blog more regularly, but more importantly, blog about substantial subjects! I really want to be intentional about my topics. I don't want to write just to have something on my blog. It has to mean something to me! (I have one brewing at the moment so keep an eye out!)<br />
<br />
<b>2. Netflix
fun:</b><br />
Fringe!!! Breaking Bad!!! We had a lot of fun with Fringe and Breaking Bad this year. I particularly enjoyed Fringe, and partly because I'm not always a sci-fi girl, but the character development and relationships are outstanding, and the way they tie in each episode is so interesting! So worth watching!<br />
<br />
<b>3. Most
fun with currently running TV:</b><br />
"Once Upon A time". OMG I love it. Best show on TV right now! The reason I know it's so good is because I can't even remember the last show I cared about enough to watch it as it airs. The character development of this show is phenomenal and it's just plain FUN to follow some of my beloved fairy tale characters.<br />
<br />
<b>4. Skincare love: </b><br />
My current skincare routine, and my favorite one of the year, is using Alba's organic
Acnedote facial wash followed by a home made toner of apple cider
vinegar, water and green tea. Oh my word. It has done wonders!<br />
<br />
<b>5. Favorite Quote:</b><br />
"It's hard to let go anything we love. We live in a world which teaches
us to clutch. But when we clutch we're left with a fistful of ashes." - Madeleine L'Engle<br />
<br />
Ugh, I was absolutely obsessed with this quote earlier in the year. I even wrote it out and hung it on my mirror for a time. So, so poignant and such a strong symbol for me personally. Love her. So much.<br />
<br />
<b>6. Favorite album:</b><br />
My favorite album as a whole this
year has to be a tie between "The Lumineers" and "The Head and the
Heart" These are fantastic, and I love each and every song! I really
enjoy the authentic and raw sound of these bands, and they just make me
feel good! Some of my favorite songs are "Ho Hey", "Stubborn Love" (Lumineers) and "Ghosts" and "Winter Song" (Head and the Heart). So amazing. <br />
<br />
<b>7. Favorite Music Discoveries:</b><br />
This
year has been wonderful for my music loving soul! Some of these are not
new to the music scene, but were new to me this year and I am in love!!
Sia, Shovels and Rope, Of Monsters of Men, Noah Gunderson, Young the
Giant, Dawes, The Civil Wars, Gregory Alan Isakov, Holly Pulliam, and Lost in the Trees. Seriously. Listen to all of them. I'm not kidding. Go. Now.<br />
<br />
<b>8. Biggest Surprise:</b><br />
Honestly, the biggest surprise is
that I'm not freezing in New Jersey anymore! I guess I just got use to
it, and I actually like it! It's very weird for me to say this, but I'm
looking forward to our first real snow storm! I know, I know, I say that NOW before it has happened, but I'm hoping I still love it as much as I love the idea of it.<br />
<br />
<b>9. Most enjoyable travel:</b><br />
Our road tip/move out to Princeton was quite an adventure! Though sad to leave our family, this phase of our lives has turned out to be just what we needed, and the trip out marked the beginning of that new plunge into the unknown. Although it was a tiresome and trying 4 day road trip with our cats in the car, it was something I will always cherish - being able to see this diverse country we live in with the one I love most. <br />
<br />
<b>10. Favorite Community Moment:</b><br />
The hurricane brought our neighbors together in such a powerful and meaningful way. We were forced to be around one another, talk to one another, meet people we wouldn't otherwise meet, feed each other, pray with one another. That week without power, at least for Wes and I, is a cherished moment where we cared for one another and made deep valuable connections with the people around us. <br />
<br />
<b>11. Best
use of our home: </b><br />
It's only been 5 or so months since we've moved in, but some highlights for me were: card games with Emily and Jesse the night of the hurricane. Obviously the devastation it left was awful and heartbreaking, but from where we were, it was mild and a fun night filled with laughter. The others I'd say are dinners and game nights too, with new friends Ben and Becca, and Kendra and Travis. Oh! And enchiladas with Brandy, Fransisco and Dolores! I need to invite more people over for dinner, cause apparently I enjoy it! I answered this question in last years high light post, and I just love it. So good to remind ourselves to open our doors to be generous and loving people. <br />
<br />
<b>12. Favorite snapshots:</b><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3EGIRjTgUNyLsI3Bk1Vdh28VK3D1YokBWxLBWTu7-ROp1WX7LnM6E6IYbZt330yBVW1fNfAygOJK2Nx_Er2vHHATIxgtXcwOA0bJzoRgaJ9X4VTF319c_nya09G89HN_l4fQmCgouVXo/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3EGIRjTgUNyLsI3Bk1Vdh28VK3D1YokBWxLBWTu7-ROp1WX7LnM6E6IYbZt330yBVW1fNfAygOJK2Nx_Er2vHHATIxgtXcwOA0bJzoRgaJ9X4VTF319c_nya09G89HN_l4fQmCgouVXo/s1600/photo.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My absolute all time favorite picture of Wes with our niece Emma.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzbjjDbaAO3SI4d63siTZTCXb6ZA06hkR9YAoDuQNUVZIOAKJFPYt99uIvtFFiKxDGM7K5CxeV162CVo8Wp-j9Dp80P6mI1vr7-GahNHRp1oR7HVS8dXGTHRPpM4XM0IeywXeeBrE-Ws/s1600/photo(3).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzbjjDbaAO3SI4d63siTZTCXb6ZA06hkR9YAoDuQNUVZIOAKJFPYt99uIvtFFiKxDGM7K5CxeV162CVo8Wp-j9Dp80P6mI1vr7-GahNHRp1oR7HVS8dXGTHRPpM4XM0IeywXeeBrE-Ws/s320/photo(3).JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SUCH a great memory: Painting with my grandpa - his original design.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4J8EGmcImBKP9S1f-dgdK2sLBkufU7_k5VrXh7WJAMus4PSMv8dSNIpIiV94DcQJfUbXSEF6cYVOP5dhpmGVePkEqzn7LizdrHG-otu-jJuWj5rLk0Q4ETehZqS2fPkMFa2HS6QniZ74/s1600/photo(4).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4J8EGmcImBKP9S1f-dgdK2sLBkufU7_k5VrXh7WJAMus4PSMv8dSNIpIiV94DcQJfUbXSEF6cYVOP5dhpmGVePkEqzn7LizdrHG-otu-jJuWj5rLk0Q4ETehZqS2fPkMFa2HS6QniZ74/s320/photo(4).JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is where I live!!!! I can't get over how gorgeous it is.</td></tr>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-32224154631203629902012-12-05T10:39:00.003-05:002012-12-05T10:39:48.709-05:00November FavoritesHi friends! I'm really trying to blog regularly again, and as motivation, I will be doing a monthly favorites post! (Inspired by my friend <a href="http://www.allthingsbeautifulblog.com/2012/12/november-obsessions.html#.UL9qioZfPls">Alyssa</a> over at "<a href="http://www.allthingsbeautifulblog.com/">All Things Beautiful</a>"!) So let's just jump right into it! (Also, I'm aware that it is already well into the first week of December, but bear with me!!!!) <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Favorite All-Natural Discovery</b></div>
<br />
APPLE CIDER VINEGAR. Hands down. It's the best discovery I've made in a long time!!! I had no idea how magical this stuff was! I have primarily been using it as a hot drink every night to rid my body of toxins (You can also make a toner too!). It is FABULOUS for your face/skin and has almost completely rid my face of all blemishes within 3 weeks. Maybe it will work for you too?<br />
<br />
Here's the recipe I follow: 1 cup of hot purified water, 2 tablespoons of organic local honey, 2 cap fulls of Braggs organic apple cider vinegar. It smells awful in the bottle, but once you mix it all together, I honestly think it tastes like hot apple cider, but that could just be me :) I will probably do a step by step post with pictures later!<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ILyVUEh62iM/UL9lrkYqgpI/AAAAAAAAAJk/WH5JjoLyUH0/s1600/12+-+1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ILyVUEh62iM/UL9lrkYqgpI/AAAAAAAAAJk/WH5JjoLyUH0/s200/12+-+1" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Favorite Makeup</b></div>
<br />
I've been really into makeup recently. It's gotten pretty bad. (Right, Emily?) It's just been so frustrating for me to find the right foundation particularly for my acne prone DRY skin. (Not a common combination!) I've tried Covergirl nature luxe, Maybelline dream smooth mousse and L'Oreal true match (Loved the color, but it was too drying). THEN I FOUND IT! L'Oreal true match LUMI was the one for me. With medium to build-able coverage this lightweight foundation does not look cakey on me at all and actually hydrates my skin. I LOVE IT. I use the shade W1-2.<br />
<br />
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<br />
And another makeup product I have to talk about are the Revlon lip butters! (If you follow me on instagram you already know how obsessed I am with these! They are so creamy and have great color selections with good color pay off (mostly in the darker shades). I have a total of 8 now (but only ended up paying full price for 3 of them with sales and coupons!!!!)<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wUK4eLa28jU/UL9h_p0m1_I/AAAAAAAAAIo/JBDgpd0WuuU/s1600/12+-+1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="317" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wUK4eLa28jU/UL9h_p0m1_I/AAAAAAAAAIo/JBDgpd0WuuU/s320/12+-+1" width="320" /></a></div>
From left to right: Peach Parfait, Cupcake, Strawberry Shortcake, Berry Smoothie, Tutti Fruitti, Candy Apple, Creme Brulee, and Fig Jam. (Maybe swatches to follow??)<br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Favorite Television Show</b></div>
<br />
Once Upon a Time ALL THE WAY. It's just "charming" and so cute. It's especially fun if you were into Disney movies/Grimm's stories as a child (or now!). They do such a fantastic job with character development, and weaving all these classic stories together. So great. Go watch it, please! I will warn you though that sometimes it has it's cheesy moments, but they are oh so worth it. My husband even loves it and watches every single episode with me!!! Plus, it has Ginnifer Goodwin in it. And she's freaking adorable all the time.<br />
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<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Favorite Quote</b></div>
<br />
"God understands that part of us which is more than what we think we are."
Madeleine L'Engle
<br />
<br />
I've SO been dealing lately with the concept of who I truly am and this just spoke to me. Ugh. I don't even have words for it right now, but I just have been sitting with this quote, letting it resonate. Love her. <br />
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<b>Favorite Instagram Picture</b></div>
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<br />
This is from Wes' birthday on November 12th! So glad he was born :) His mom was able to visit us during that week as well, which was a welcome blessing as we are still adjusting to life on the East Coast!!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2709319168572824659.post-51974260587839936512012-10-01T16:37:00.004-04:002012-10-01T16:41:59.382-04:00Prayer in the Midst of Anxiety<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8QWRiY7tGBBX54qvxPRHtBxwtQKFwHfVJma_V3BWVtn1WnzXeulX5i-d2b9oNFvkPBMb12oDr66dS6fMHP-Yt5BYW0u2NOiATsTgRP4ELFeNdP3opn8dYiOIEWeGegCXvI_OBFX1YvuE/s200/open-hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8QWRiY7tGBBX54qvxPRHtBxwtQKFwHfVJma_V3BWVtn1WnzXeulX5i-d2b9oNFvkPBMb12oDr66dS6fMHP-Yt5BYW0u2NOiATsTgRP4ELFeNdP3opn8dYiOIEWeGegCXvI_OBFX1YvuE/s200/open-hands.jpg" /></a>Loving and peace-giving God,<br />
I so desperately desire that "peace that passes all understanding". My heart has been so full of anxiety and pain, and I know You aren't a genie, but I know You ARE life giving. I just want it to go away. I want to feel confident that this will pass...that I am always going to make it through. I know in my heart that I can stay strong, but my mind has a harder time believing it.<br />
<br />
<br />
May I have peace, God. May I feel peace. May I show peace. Please throughout this day, whisper "I am here. I am with you. It will all be okay." And please come carry me if it feels too hard. Remind me that I am growing. I am growing EVERY DAY. And I want to grow to be more like You. Help me see what looks like you. Help me give You those sorrows I hold onto so tightly, so that I can focus on showing this world Your love. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0