A Look At 2011

Here are some highlights of 2011, idea taken from SortaCrunchy:

Favorite reads: This year I enjoyed reading all of John Greens books (I'm in love!) including "Looking for Alaska", "Paper Towns", "An Abundance of Katherine's" and "Will Grayson, Will Grayson"

Favorite album: This year has been all about Mumford and Sons and Ingrid Michaelson! Love their albums as a whole!

Favorite music discoveries: Beach House and Fleet Foxes :)

Netflix fun: LOST and Dexter. I CANNOT GET ENOUGH! We finished LOST this year and we loved it! Amazing! And Dexter (We're up to season 5 now) AHH I can't get over the writing and characters of that show! (But be fair warned it is a bit (ok A LOT) graphic in all areas).

Most fun with currently running TV: I enjoy Jersey Shore and I do not even care that you are judging me right now. Snookie is just hilarious!!!! I also love "big bang theory" and "how I met your mother"

Biggest TV disappointment: Man of Interest. I really wanted it to be good. I really did. I mean IT'S BENJAMIN LINUS!! :(

Technology love: The iphone 4s my husband got me for Christmas takes the cake!

Best use of our home: Looking at this question makes me realize we haven't used our home very well! (Even tough it is only 400 sq ft so not that many can fit) but I'd say dinner and a bonfire with our dear friends Wes and Marla was a highlight :)

Most enjoyable travel: We went to Hawaii this past year and it was incredible!!! We got to spend a week with my in laws and my adorable nephews! It was great bonding time. I also parasailed for the first time!

Most rewarding project: My quest to buy only fair trade for Christmas. It really opened my eyes to not only how easy it is to start changing my shopping habits, but also how shopping fair trade with the prices being a tiny bit higher, made me really think about the person and if they would appreciate it, and made the gift giving much more precious.

BIGGEST SURPRISE: How much I love my niece Emma. I remember visiting her in the hospital when she was born and it was a "ok she's cute" moment but no real emotional bond...but now that I get to spend every weekday with her, I am smitten! She's so sweet and smart and funny! Which brings me to the next surprise, which is how much I love my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. They have proved to be the most generous and loving people I know, and getting to spend time with them is something I will cherish forever. They are truly family. And no, I'm not just sucking up cause they pay my bills. I really mean it. :)

Favorite snapshots taken by me:

My Husband on our whale watching date. I love him.

We're really cool

My sweet niece Emma. This picture kills me!

The youngest of 4 nephews, Kai. He is so caring and funny!

My cat Moshe scrounging for food!

The Facts About Fair trade

As we come to the second week of advent and prepare for Christmas I want to talk about the facts of fair trade. This year I have made a commitment to buy only fair trade items for friends and family and sometimes it can be hard to know where to start and how to identify what products are fair trade. If you are new to fair trade there are probably even more questions floating through your head, so here are a few general facts about fair trade. If anyone has other information to add or correct please leave a comment! I want to make sure I am accurate and up to date. So here we go...

So what is fair trade?

I took this straight off of the world fair trade organizations website, because I think they sum it up so nicely.

"Fair Trade is a trading partnership, based on dialogue, transparency and respect, that seeks greater equity in international trade. It contributes to sustainable development by offering better trading conditions to, and securing the rights of, marginalized producers and workers"

A company then, that is committed to fair trade practices, will either buy ingredients from workers in other countries (or the U.S.) and make their own products (ensuring adequate pay and working conditions) , or they will sell handmade products from organizations already established. (ie: buy coconut oil in bulk to make their own shampoo and conditioner, or take handmade jewelry and sell it to consumers on behalf of the developing community, ensuring that the money goes directly back to that community.)

Why is it important to buy fair trade?

For me, it all comes down to this: we are seeing worse working conditions, outrageously low pay, unsafe environments, child labor, and slavery. And this is all because foreign companies and large U.S. corrperations need the cheapest labor, so they can sell it to the consumer at the cheapest price. (Walmarts "low price guarantee", anyone?)

Fair trade towns USA says this about fair trades importance:

"When you choose to purchase Fair Trade products, you are endorsing an economic system that provides opportunities for producers to lift themselves out of poverty. Fair Trade provides assurances to consumers that producers are paid fair prices for their products and labor. It gives them more direct market access which removes many of the “middle-men” who traditionally have absorbed the majority of the profits. In addition, Fair Trade provides a set of requirements that assure consumers that strict standards have been met to protect the environment, build economic sustainability, empower women, and allow opportunities for education, poverty alleviation, and health care."

So why is it so important? Because when you realize how drastically your purchases impact the lives of others, you can't help but want that impact to be a positive one. And all you have to do is shop! And we can start by shopping for things we all need, like bath and beauty products, recycled paper towels, etc. :)

Terms you should know:

Fair trade: A system of exchange that honors producers, communities, consumers, and the environment. It is a model for the global economy rooted in people-to-people connections, justice, and sustainability.

Cruelty-free: This sounds like a fair trade term, but it's not. Cruelty free is a term used when a product has not been tested on an animal.

Co-op: A co-op is when Fair trade organizations work primarily with small businesses and democratically run cooperatives that agree to reinvest a portion of profits in community projects like health care clinics and childcare programs. These cooperatives are trying to cut out any middle men, and buy only and directly through the producers to ensure fair wadges and to see community and social change. Sometimes you will see pictures and stories of the particular producer on a fair trade website.

Sustainable: This ties into the cooperatives and means that the company selling the fair trade items create opportunities for social and sustainable economic development to the producer.

USDA Organic: A product claiming to be organic using the USDA organic label means that the product is 90-95 percent organic. And although many fair trade products are organic, a product carrying this label may not be fair trade. This doesn't mean not to shop organic though! I'm a big fan of organic.

How can you tell if it's really fair trade?

This one can be tricky, as many companies are noting the recent trend in conscious shopping and can slap the fair trade name on a product, but one of the best ways to identify a fair trade item is by its label. There are two very important symbols to watch out for, So you know it is certified fair trade. Remember, just because it says it is fair trade, doesn't mean it is. Do some research first.

I am still learning about fair trade everyday and am so honored to be a part of this movement to care so deeply for the hands that make the products I use. For more information on fair trade certification and fair trade in general, visit the fair trade USA website here.

The Fight To Be Fair

Just about a year ago I wrote a blog post reflecting on how my obsession with my image had caused me to neglect my heart for fair trade. I became more interested in a shampoo that was "curl inhancing" to go along with my new haircut than with how my products were made and who they were made by. I quickly re-evaluated myself and felt like I was back on track....

Well....things have gotten bad again. This time though, it isn't about the looks...it's about the money - coupons to be exact. You see, I've become a bit crazy about saving myself some money. I'm not a crazy coupon lady by any means but I have become more interested in cutting out coupons...and to be honest, buying things I don't really need just because they are on sale.

I knew it was really bad when a few weeks ago I was buying 4 different 2-in-1 shampoos because I had $1 off coupons. Which is just exsessive, but that's not the worst part of it. The really bad part is when my husband walked down the isle to see me carrying all these shampoos and very casually and politely said "what happened to trying to buy fair trade bath products?". I instantly got defensive and chewed him out right there in the grocery store. "I'm trying to save this family some money!!!" (funny...I almost wrote save this money some family!) and "Why don't I see YOU buying anything fair trade? Why is it always on me? " which isn't even true at all...my husband tries to be conscious as well.

This incident really hit me. Money makes me cranky. When I shop fair trade, it may cost me a bit more...but I'm happier. And so are many other people whose lives are changed because I spent a few extra dollars. Now, advent started today, and I think advent and fair trade go quite nicely together. Advent is the period of preparation leading up to Christmas. And what better time than Christmas to talk about money and consumerism. So this advent season, all my posts will be about the coming Christ and the continual fight for fair trade. May we, this advent season, find hope in Christ, and may we find ways to share that hope with others.

Being A Youth Pastor's Wife (On Burn Out)

Being a youth pastor's wife is the most rewarding job I have. But it is also the most heart-breaking, most frustrating, most draining thing I do. It is not easy to do this "job". And for me, it is a full time unpaid job. I work 3 jobs right now to make up the income from quitting my last job, and at the end of the day I go on to chaperon youth events and lead worship for Jr. high and Sr. high youth group.

My real problem is that I desperately want to be involved with my husbands ministry. If I could quit all my jobs and just work with him, I would do it in a heart beat. I LOVE student ministries. I have worked with youth as a volunteer for 6 years (2 years on my own out of high school and 4 years have been spent volunteering along side my now husband). I'm not like one of those people who never thought they'd be a pastor's spouse. No, I knew I would be. I KNEW that the ministry of the church (particularly youth) was so important to me that God had to bring me someone who loved youth too. And God did.

But I am suffering from some burnout these days.

And to be honest with you...I'm the only youth pastor's spouse I know that hasn't identified their boundaries (If you're out there too, let me know!). One of my best friends and college roommate is also a youth pastor's wife, but she barely goes to any events. My husband and I realized we've never ever SEEN the wife of a youth pastor here in town that we frequently do events with. I feel so alone in my battle. I desperately want to be a part of this ministry, but I am wearing myself too thin.

A lot of the times I do so much because I see so many hurting kids. I think "Oh, I should really take her out for coffee...she looks like she needs to talk to someone. That's what I'm suppose to do right? I AM the youth pastors wife after all..." For whatever reason, this is the ideal of what a youth pastors spouse should be, and though taking a teenager out for coffee is something I can and have done, it's not my instinctual way of showing these kids that I care about them and love them. To be honest, I'm just more likely to give them a hug and tell them it's going to be okay.  Let me reiterate: I LOVE THESE KIDS. But if I think I'm SUPPOSE to take all the students out for coffee, it probably won't happen. Because it isn't my gift, I will probably fail at remembering to take them out. Then I feel like a failure...like I'm not able to help these teenagers I care so much for. I'm trying to make my ideals of my role as a youth pastor's wife fit into something I am not. The real problem isn't that I can't touch the lives of these hurting kids. Oh, I can. It's that I'm not letting myself be exactly who I am. They don't need or want the me I think I should be...they want the me that God made me to be.

I tried to think back on the youth pastor's wife when I was in high school. Her name is Jayme and I LOVED HER. I remember special times when she would help me learn chords on the keyboard while I was on the worship team. And I STILL HAVE postcards she wrote me about how special she thought I was. Little moments, even though she wasn't there for every event, meant the world to me. And by sometimes distancing herself from the ministry of her husband, and having boundaries, she was able to be exactly who she was exactly when I needed it.

Last week I attended a youth worker training day (that my wonderful husband helped create and run) called "Equip" and they had a phenomenal speaker named Katie Quesada there. In her message to us she said something so powerful. So wonderfully refreshing. She said:

"You are unique. The truest you, the you God created, what you are, is exactly what people need. No more, no less. What you have to offer, the way it feels most natural, is what people need."

We are unique. Do not try to be something you aren't just because you think that's what your role is. I need to be a wife, a nanny, a youth worker, a preschool teacher, a sister, a daughter, a Sunday school director. And I need to know where I am in all of those roles. I need to see me. I need to see that my work does not define me. That I am perfect just how I am in the small ways I do all those things.

I cannot be the best version of myself for these kids when I have no boundaries. I am worn thin. I am frustrated with them. I am frustrated with myself. I am frustrated with God. I do too much. When I say yes to too many things, I can do none of them well. If I want to be effective, I have to choose my boundaries. You have to say no to most things (even good worthwhile things) in order to do those few things as best as you can. You have to say "no" to say "yes".

When do I say no? What do I say yes to? I think we should say yes to the things that bring us joy. Say yes to the things that feel most naturally "you".

I absolutely love the way the message translation talks about "spiritual gifts" or as I like to call them "glimpses of God". You can read a whole excerpt here, but I wanted to point out a few parts with my own twist from my own life. Instead of listing the spiritual gifts as they traditionally appear, I can't help but see it this way:

You have God's smile

You have God's eyes

You have God's heart

You have God's creativity

You have God's words

You have God's touch

We are all unique. We are all exactly who God has made us to be. Sometimes we get a little dusty, but our heart...God's heart...is right there.

I love this part in verse 13 "Each of us is now a part of his resurrection body, refreshed and sustained at one fountain—his Spirit—where we all come to drink. The old labels we once used to identify ourselves—labels like Jew or Greek, slave or free—are no longer useful. (***Like "pastor's wife"***) We need something larger, more comprehensive. I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less."

We are not labels. We are precious children of God who are given special parts of God to give to each other. The first thing we need to do is remember who we are. If you need to go away and spend an extended amount of time discovering this, DO IT. When you know who you are and who God made you to be, you will naturally show God's love.

You Have to Know Their Name

After writing in my last post about words becoming flesh, and talking about Social Justice over at Sorta Crunchy for 40 Days of Community, I couldn't help but be reminded of how important our actions are when talking about social justice.

Wes and I are taking a group of 6 high school kids on a mission trip to Los Angeles this summer, and we have been meeting weekly with them to help prepare them for the trip. They have readings, reflections and bible memorization's due, all to help point them towards a better understanding of homelessness and our call to continue to work with God to bring His Kingdom to earth. We want to teach them that the Gospel is more than words, it is action (and even more than just action, it is hearing the stories of others). I thought I would research a little bit to see the demographics of the homeless in our town to share with the kids.

I decided to look up "homeless in (our town)" on google. And although I could not find any homeless shelters in my town, I did find a "Help for the Homeless Pets" here. "Wow" was all I could say. We have people sleeping in the riverbed every night and yet we have shelters for pets and not for PEOPLE.

Our town does not have a homeless shelter...and the closest one is at least a 30 minute drive. And yet we have so many homeless people living here, camped out under tarps in the riverbed.

To be honest, I'm not one to talk. I've never even been down in the riverbed. We have one place where the hungry can receive a meal, and it's only once a week and I've never served food there.

I have served the homeless before, though. I have talked with them, eaten with them, ridden the bus with them. I have. But it has been so long. In the 2 years I've lived in this town, I have only had conversations with one homeless man...and that's only because we knew him before he was homeless. I guess...it's just...that I've forgotten them. I've stopped seeing their faces, so it doesn't hurt as much anymore. I don't KNOW them anymore...so I don't think about them.

Needless to say, I'm not good at this yet. I'm really very good at articulating what needs to be done. And I know quite a bit about Social Justice..but it's the doing it that is the hardest. I'm not there yet...but I'm trying (And knowing the needs is the first step). I want to really help people, but it's hard to know where to start sometimes.

I love organizations like Compassion International, Toms Shoes and Operation Christmas Child...but where are we challenging people to be face to face with those in need? Am I challenged? These organizations are doing wonderful things...but...It is EASY to sponsor a child for 38 dollars a month. It is EASY to buy a pair of Toms. It is EASY to fill a shoebox once a year. It is not as easy to walk the riverbed where the homeless sleep on the ground. It is not as easy to eat a meal with the homeless at the soup kitchen. It is not as easy to give a sandwich to a child who has sores on her body because her family can't even afford to go to the clinic.

It is easy to give money. It is easy to separate us from the homeless. It's when you know their name that things get sticky. It's when you know that Bonnie has 3 children and lives on the street. It's when you know that Jessie can't get out of prostitution. It's when you know that Chuck can't get a job....it's then when your heart truly breaks...and its then that you see Jesus.

Here are some things to get us headed in the right direction...

• If you want a good song that reminds us of where we see Jesus, please listen to this song called "Jesus" by Shaun Groves.
• If you want a good book please read "The Social Justice Handbook" by Mae Elise Cannon.
• If you live in San Diego County please visit these places bringing heaven to earth: North County Solutions for Change, Fill-A-Belly, and Hidden Treasures.
• Please find local organizations and spend some time volunteering there!

May we know the stories of the weak. May we know the names of poor. And may we always see Jesus in their faces.

James 2: 15- 16 "If you know someone who doesn't have any clothes or food, you shouldn't just say, "I hope all goes well for you. I hope you will be warm and have plenty to eat." What good is it to say this, unless you do something to help?"

Word Becoming Flesh

My birthday was last week. I love birthdays...I mean, I LOVE THEM. Needless to say when I realized that my birthday fell during lent and I had already resolved to delete my facebook, I was devastated. NO ONE WILL REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY!

For my birthday I ended up getting 3 cards, 1 email, 2 phone calls (This does not include immediate family which added a few more) and 10 text messages.

This is not to say that I had a bad birthday, it was very nice and those who contacted me made it very special, but I wanted to break that down because my last birthday I got 40+ birthday message on my facebook wall (with minimal phone calls no cards and no texts). This year, without facebook, there were 15 people who wished me a happy birthday and 75% of them still resorted to a text based communication. I find this so fascinating! And I also relate to it so well.

I used facebook as my primary means of communication. And now that I have given it up, I have to actually WORK in my relationships now. I have to make time to cultivate my friendships. Before lent I was completely satisfied with reading others facebook posts and commenting on them, almost as my sole means of communicating with them. See, I am a very busy person. I work 3 jobs and my husband is a youth pastor and I am highly involved with his ministry as well. It was easier and more efficient to send a text and a comment. But at what cost? I have lost the value of sitting together, sharing our hearts and lives with one another.

It really makes me think about how we choose to communicate and how that can impact the message of what we are saying (and how that communication deepens or widens our personal relationships).

The other night I was watching a video series at a Bible study and we heard the story about a man who had a hard time expressing his feelings of love to his son, so he wrote them in a letter. The commentator called this act "word becoming flesh" they did not just stay inside someone's head or heart, they were spoken. And the farther we get from internet/text based "words" the more precious those words are. The closer we get to real face to face communication, the more vulnerable we are, and the more vulnerable we are, the better we can be God's love to those around us, and receive that love back.

Note on my wall at facebook - Text message - Phone call - Letter in the mail - Going out for coffee.......I'd much rather give/receive the last 3 means of communication...but it seems like they have become an obsolete means of communication.

Shane Hipps, author of "Flickering Pixels" and teaching Pastor at Mars Hill Church says this about relationships and facebook:

"The narcissism created by these technologies [facebook] is unique. It encourages not just self-absorption, but, more accurately, self-consumption. We become creators and consumers of our own brand. We become enamored by a particular kind of self, a pseudo-self.....This heavily edited and carefully controlled self easily hides certain parts of ourselves we don’t want others to see. This is hardly new, of course. In any social situation, we seek to control the impression we give. The problem is that in real social settings, there are limits to what we can hide. At a certain point, people intuitively see through us. Eventually they get a sense of who we really are. And in this way, real friendships can function as a healthy mirror. They become an honest mirror that loves but doesn’t flatter us."

This kind of real face to face communication is so vital for us to grow and feel and live. So vitally important for us to become deeper followers of Jesus Christ.

Let us remember: God did not shout from the heavens "I love you my children, you are free from the curse." No, God sent Jesus. A real live man who loved his enemies, ate with the poor, physically died for us, and then miraculously rose from the dead. It's as real flesh and blood as you can get. God did not just speak it. He loved us too much for that. This is what we are celebrating on Easter: God became flesh and blood and died a flesh and blood kind of death and then defeated that death so that we could be face to face with God and His kingdom.

So as we continue through lent, may we act out our relationships in the fleshiest kind of ways.

John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

Reflections on Community (2)

Focusing on community through the 40 days of community challenge has been a real blessing to me and a compliment to what I gave up for lent: facebook. It's funny really...the first few days without facebook were HORRIBLE. I felt disconnected from everyone, I felt left out of certain information (because no one remembers to tell you in person if they already put it on facebook!)...it was hard. But I decided to continue on.

I started calling people (most of my family and close friends don't live near me anymore so this is the communication I have right now) to see how things were going...and one conversation in particular stands out to me. I called my youngest brother Chris (I'm the oldest of 4 kids) who turned 18 not too long ago. We ended up talking for about an hour and a half. We talked about transitions, jobs, money, housing, music and relationships. I got to really open up about my hopes surrounding future employment and moving soon (oddly enough we are in the same boat with these two topics!)

By the end of our conversation, it felt so good to SHARE LIFE with him. To support each other and know that we would be there in the good and the bad. Before we hung up I said to him "Yeah I just called you to see what's going on now that I can't read it on facebook anymore" and he said "You know...all the things we talked about I haven't really shared with anyone, especially on facebook." I'm not missing anything on facebook, really. Sure I'm missing status' like "Out to dinner" or "Watching Tommy boy!" but I'd have to actually talk to people to share in the stories of their heart anyway. You know...I just might never go back to facebook...it might have sufficed before lent to just read my brothers mundane status' and never call him...but boy...

...There's nothing better than the love of a brother.

Circa 1992 My sister Thea, My brother Jon, and myself holding my brother Chris